Bobby Portis is one of those few players who just absolutely has no fans. At least, no fans who are willing to watch highlight videos of him on YouTube. I don’t know what kind of a person you would have to be to be a fan of a player but not want to watch a…
Read MoreMonth: January 2020
RJ Barrett 22 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/14/2020)
The play-enhancing properties of the standard-issue NBA headband are well known. Carmelo Anthony’s seminal treatise on the subject, “On The Magickal Properties Of The Headband” (not to be confused with his later work, “The Latent Power Of The Hoodie And Other Related Garments”), is well regarded in NBA circles for its thoroughness in the study…
Read MoreKevin Huerter 23 Points/15 Rebounds/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/14/2020)
Kevin “Prime Nikola Jokic” Huerter is, if you couldn’t tell by his nickname (which he has had since he was in high school, I definitely did not come up with it just now or anything), is playing like a prime Nikola Jokic in the last few games. And if by “last few games”, you mean…
Read MoreJoe Ingles Career High 27 Points Full Highlights (1/14/2020)
I have tried many times to convince the Australian government that I would be a suitable wallaby owner. When I first demonstrated my willingness to adopt a wallaby and bring it back to the United States (by driving a go kart through remote areas of Australia searching for elusive wallaby clans and nearly dying of…
Read MoreMarvin Bagley 18 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2020)
Marvin Bagley has been injured for a lot of the season. The Kings haven’t been very good. Are these two things related? On the surface, they almost have to be. Not many teams don’t get worse when you take away their recent 2nd overall pick. I’m not so sure about the correlation (how many wins…
Read MoreP.J. Washington 20 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2020)
New money-making idea for the Hornets (since they can’t be making much money from ticket sales right now): P.J.’s PJ’s! Hornets-branded pajamas with P.J. Washington’s name on them! You can sell them in the pro shop at the arena for fifty bucks a pair. You know these would sell well because basketball fans in general…
Read MoreMarkelle Fultz 16 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2020)
Remember when Kevin Durant tweeted about how Markelle Fultz has a nice hesi pull-up jimbo, and if you didn’t understand the terminology then you don’t REALLY hoop? Well, it turns out that Fultz is on the path to recovery from having his shooting mechanics ruined by his mom’s boyfriend, and his hesi pull-up jimbo actually…
Read MoreAnthony Tolliver 16 Points/1 Quarter Full Highlights (1/13/2020)
As recently as two years ago, Anthony “The Tollbooth” Tolliver was a really solid role-player for Detroit. He was hitting tons of threes at a 43 percent clip, making him one of the most efficient players in the league that season. He played the most minutes of his career. His best year as a pro?…
Read MoreWilly Hernangomez 14 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2020)
Another game, another bucketfest (short for “bucket festival” in case you typed that into Google Translate and it got all confused) for Willy Hernangomez. He went 6-for-6 two games ago, followed that performance up with a sick DNP-CD performance off the bench, and now has scored 14 on 7-for-8 from the field. This is, as…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 25 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2020)
People of the future are going to look back on the contract that Terry Rozier received from the Hornets and be like “that was a pretty reasonable contract for a guy who would score almost 20 points per game”. Okay, that’s a lie. No people from the future (I’m defining “future” as “25 years from…
Read More