OFFICIAL REASONS NOT TO MAKE THIS VIDEO POWER RANKINGS 1. 21 points is not all that many for Dillon Brooks, who has spent the better part of two months transforming himself into Bradley Beal 0.8 2. Nobody cares about Dillon Brooks, not even ‘Zlies fans, so nobody will watch it 3. This video is getting…
Read MoreDay: March 11, 2020
Bobby Portis 20 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
Bobby “Dang It Bobby” Portis went OFF at the beginning of this game. He had fourteen points in the first quarter, reminiscent of some of his more high-volume scoring outbursts from his time with the Bulls (a time which was not marked only by punching Nikola Mirotic in the face, but which was also marked…
Read MoreCoby White 20 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
Coby White, on the surface, put up a nice-looking line of 20/5/5 (I call it “The Tyreke”). However, a cursory deeper inspection of his statline reveals the festering rot which ruins his performance: 9 turnovers. I don’t know if I’ve ever made a video where the player in question had that many turnovers. It’s impossible…
Read MoreJordan Poole 17 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
Jordan “The Poole Noodle” continues his stretch of vastly improved play with a seventeen-point outing against Kawhi Leonard and the Los Angeles Clippers. Aside from his zero-point effort two games ago against the Raptors, he has now scored in double digits in fourteen straight games. At the beginning of the season, the only way he…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 16 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
I love the way Marco Belinelli shoots the ball. Spurs fans might be totally done with him (and I don’t blame them, he hasn’t been great), but I don’t have to see all the times he took a horrible fading three for no reason and it didn’t go in. I get to see the times…
Read MoreDragan Bender Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
If my memory serves me correctly, this is not as scintillating of a performance as the last time Dragan Bender scored 23, back in early 2018. I seem to remember a turnaround middy jumper, possibly multiple, a bunch of other impressive buckets and a general sense of “this is it, he’s finally breaking out”. You’re…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 22 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
I’m trying to figure out why Trevor Ariza is so much better in Portland than he was in Sacramento. I think I may have discussed this quandary before, so forgive me for rehashing it, but it really is an interesting mystery to me. Both teams are aimlessly locked in a battle for the eighth seed…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 24 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
It’s not an exaggeration to say that Terrence Ross won this game for the Orlando Magic. I promise I’m not exaggerating here. I know I exaggerate so often that this is a “boy who cried wolf” scenario, but I’m telling you straight up, Terrence Ross was the deciding factor in this win. I admit that…
Read MoreJuan Hernangomez 18 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
Normally, in situations such as these, I would be readying my tear-harvesting machinery for use on fans of the Denver Nuggets. After all, their team is the one that gave up Juan Hernangomez, who has turned out to be a viable stretch four in the NBA and will be lowkey one of the more coveted…
Read MoreDario Saric 24 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2020)
Remember how there was that “Banana Boat” squad that everybody was secretly (and not-so-secretly) hoping would team up in real life to form a superteam? If my memory serves me correctly, the Banana Boat squad was LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, and Carmelo Anthony. They were photographed riding on a giant inflatable banana once,…
Read More