One sad thing about Tommy Heinsohn doing fewer and fewer Celtics games is that we might never get to hear first-hand accounts of what Daniel Theis looks like in the shower (or, as Heinsohn would say, “in the SHOWAH”). If Mike Gorman or Brian Scalabrine have gotten any sneak peaks, they’re not sharing the details. Only Heinsohn is senile enough to have no filter about discussing the impressive nudity of NBA players. I still watch the original video with the quote almost every day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTgQAail6HM
I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that my curiosity about this topic will never be quenched. Does Theis look like “all of Germany”? I would even settle for “All of East Germany” here. We’ll just never know unless nudism because a much more popular lifestyle choice in the next five years.
Is Theis “really put together”? I’m thinking he is, but I can’t know for sure. Definitely that Yggdrasil tattoo (or whatever it is) on Theis’ arm makes him look really fierce and Germanic, but does he have any tattoos in…forbidden areas? The kind of areas we would only see if we were observing him in the act of bathing?
And I’m going a bit red here in the face, but is nobody going to bring up the …ahem…Theisticles? Does nobody have the balls to tell us about them?