Do you think P.J. Dozier just sits there in his hotel room and looks at his stats on basketball-reference and giddily think to himself, “I’m gonna get so paid next season.”? Because that’s what I’m doing, minus the hotel room. I’m looking at P.J. Dozier’s stats on basketball-reference and thinking to myself, “Dozier is gonna…
Read MoreDay: August 7, 2020
Talen Horton-Tucker 10 Points/4 Steals Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
Behold: buckets one through four of Talen Horton-Tucker’s presumably illustrious career. You are seeing it all, right now. A full-on bucketilation. Will it stay that way? There is a good chance that it will. We could be looking at 100 percent of his season bucket output contained in one single game. Which means that you…
Read MoreBen McLemore 20 Points Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
Check out the last bucket of this video, at around the one-minute mark. Isn’t that the saddest thing ever? The bucket, the commentary, the whole overarching situation, everything. Just sad. I thought I wanted the NBA to return, but after seeing that, I’m not so sure. Maybe we can just go back to it being…
Read MoreIvica Zubac 21 Points/0 Missed Field Goals Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
Check out the statlines from the so-called “stars” on the Clippers roster: KaWHINE LeoNERD: 29/6/5 on an ultra inefficient 10-of-23 from the field, I guess he needs some more load management Paulina Georgette: 24/7/6 on an ultra inefficient 10-of-21 from the field, total brickfest from start to finish Lou iLLiams: 6/2/3 on an ultra super…
Read MoreTyler Herro 20 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
As an unpigmented male born and raised in Wisconsin, I have a certain affinity for other unpigmented males born and raised in Wisconsin, especially when those males are NBA players. That’s why I am unreasonably attached to NBA players Tyler Herro and Matt Thomas. Matt Thomas had taken first place in my heart after a…
Read MoreDuncan Robinson 21 Points Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
I wonder if anything went down between Duncan Robinson and Kyle Korver either before, after, or during this game. And went I say “went down”, I don’t mean like a fight (although a fight would be guiltily hilarious), I just mean any kind of interaction between them outside of normal in-game interactions. I don’t know…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 22 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
Is there a way to use the internet to tell me if seven is a career high in dunks for Jusuf Nurkic? I thought I was good at the internet but it turns out I’m not. And I haven’t yet shelled out for the new basketball-reference “Stathead” service (I don’t blame them for charging for…
Read MoreGary Trent Jr. 27 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
We need a nickname or term for all these players who are suddenly SHOWING OUT in the bubble. And the term has to involve the word “bubble” in some way. Something like “Bubble Breakouts”, but I want it to be more creative than that. Who do I have to pay to generate creative ideas for…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 27 Points Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
I really thought Michael Porter Jr. was going to drop another thirty-burger in this one, but his grand plans were foiled by the fact that he didn’t score any points at all in the final seven minutes of this game. My plan to eat thirty McDonald’s cheeseburgers in celebration of his thirty-burger was also foiled….
Read MoreZion Williamson 24 Points Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
Zion Williamson is clearly quite a bit heftier than he was in high school. He’s also clearly above a healthy playing weight right now. Four months of NBA postponement didn’t help him slim down at all. But who can really blame him? I mean, food tastes SO GOOD. I’m compulsively thinking about food at least…
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