Dënniß “Sexy Nubian Princess” ßchrööder is a lightning rod for controversy. First he gets stranded in Germany because he tried to smuggle contraband in his bunghole, then he punched Dwight Howard full-on in the face on live TV against the Warriors. What’s next for this depraved maniac? I shudder to even think.
Despite his off-court shortcomings, wait, that Dwight Howard incident was on the court, hold on… despite his on-and-off-court shortcomings, ßchrööder has turned himself into a great player. He’s not the pure PG that people were expecting early in his career, so the Rondo comparisons are pretty much done at this point. He likes to score, which is a defensible position to adopt, since that’s objectively the most fun part of basketball. I feel like his amount of lobs to Dwight Howard, which was high at the beginning of the season, is dwindling as he decides he’d rather shoot a three-ball or punch Howard in the face and get benched for a whole half.
Wanting to punch Howard in the face is also a defensible position to adopt. Who doesn’t want to smash his goofy-ass face in with a savage haymaker?