Kris “Kardashian” Humphries is more famous for his off-court exploits than his on-court play. I don’t know who Kim Kardashian is, or why people care about her, but Kris married her, and then a bunch of other stuff happened, and now they’re not married anymore.
I don’t even know what the big deal is. Marriages fail all the time, and it’s not like Kris or Kim are more interesting personality-wise than the average person. If you want a divorce case to pay attention to, just take a look at the crazies who live in the apartment next to mine. The dude screams at the girl all the time and I often hear stuff getting broken or thrown against the walls. Then, when the dude’s not around, the girl brings over a bunch of other dudes, and she performs all kinds of lewd acts with them for money. They have like three kids and sometimes I have to look after them after school when mommy’s plying her trade. These kids love me because I actually pay attention to them, and I set up an emulator on my computer so they can play Mario on my big-ass 4K monitor, so they love me for that too. Then the dad comes to pick them up and he’s drunk, even though he supposedly has a job. It’s a pretty weird situation.
Anyway, enough about the crazies. Kris Humphries scored a season-high 18 points! And he whammed it! I thought for a second that his knee exploded when he landed, but he got up, so it’s all good. It will just contribute to his early-onset arthritis and crippling body pains at age 36. No amount of money can make that pain go away, Kris. Remember that.