Now that the epic Kelly Oubre Jr. vs Klay Thompson storyline which spanned twenty videos has come to an end (you can find the thrilling conclusion to the story here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPYZpwSpKmA), I have no idea what to write about this guy. Theoretically I could comment on his improved play, or which star players past and present he compares favorably to, or how much I appreciate his anger towards the rim, but right now I’m not feeling like I could get a whole description’s worth of material out of any of those topics.
Instead I’m thinking about what the next Kelly Oubre storyline could be. Among the options:
-Pursuit of the woman who sits in the third row behind the Suns bench at makes sexy eyes at Oubre all game long
-Revisiting the Kelly vs. Klay storyline, sort of like how Hollywood is cashing in on sequels right now (working title: “Oubremensch: Vengeance Reborn”)
-Just a series of vignettes where Oubre has to ignore a large amount of women who are very attracted to him and are very forward about it (but not anything lewd because DTB does not peddle in erotica or other lewd things)
-Oubre acts as Tyler Johnson’s life coach because Johnson obviously has no ability or desire to maintain his physical appearance
-Related to the above idea, Oubre starts a men’s makeup channel on YouTube because he’s short on cash after he invested all of his game checks into some scam cryptocurrency
-“Oubrecoin”. That’s all I’m going to say about that one.
-Oubre starts a post-rock band heavily influenced by GY!BE and Grace Cathedral Park, but struggles to find members who share his vision for washed-out crescendocore
These are good ideas, honestly, but it’s way easier to describe them in one sentence than it is to actually write them out. Life is hard sometimes.