Nemanja Bjelica’s career-high in assists before this game? Eight, set earlier this season. Nemanja Bjelica’s career-high in assists after this game? Thirteen, set just now.
A quick bit of fancy mathematics has revealed to me a startling yet unavoidable truth: this performance by Bjelica is roughly equivalent to Wilt Chamberlain scoring 160 points. Now tell me, would you watch a highlight video depicting such a performance by Chamberlain? Assuming, of course, that there were video cameras around to film the occasion? Of course you would. If you say you wouldn’t, you are a liar, and liars go to hell to chill out (not really “chill”, more like “burn”, it was just a figure of speech) with Satan for the rest of eternity.
And if you would watch Wilt dropping 160, you would want to watch Bjelica terrorizing NoDefense “LeBron James” SuckBalls and the Puke Faulton-coached Lackers to the tune of 15 points (not the main attraction) and 13 assists (absolutely compelling must-watch basketball).
Not like I need to tell you guys to watch this vid. You’re already here, you’re reading these words, and when you’re done reading them, you’re going to get a bigger load of the Serbian Larry Bird (“Serbird”) than you ever thought was possible. Open wide, losers. Bjelica is coming in hot and hard.