You won’t believe this, but I just spent three whole minutes scrolling through Joe Ingles’ Twitter feed, even though I barely understand how Twitter works and am confused by the interface. Why did I put myself through this misery, you ask? Because I wanted to see if Joe Ingles had an opinions on the food he was being served in the Bubble.
All my misery paid off in the end because I eventually found a picture he had taken of his half-eaten soup, asparagus, rice with kimchi (?) and potato wedges. The comments on the tweet (I guess comments on tweets are actually tweets themselves?) made it clear that he was unhappy with either the quality of the found, the amount of the food, or both.
Who could blame him? He’s trapped in a resort that might not be catering to the unique and exacting palate of a balding Australian male. At least when he’s playing home games in Utah, he can go home to his pantry full of Australian delicacies and pretend he’s back in the homeland. Trapped in The Bubb with no access to the outside world, he’s certainly missing the following delicious foods:
-Vegemite
-Tim Tams
-Emu burgers
-Sand with chocolate sauce drizzled on it
-Draconian internet surveillance
-Wallaby roadkill
Since I am capable of feeling empathy at least 5% of the time, I would try to smuggle in some emu burgers into the bubble by airdropping them from a drone, but I don’t have a drone, I don’t have any emu burgers, and I don’t want to drive all the way from Wisconsin from Orlando unless Ingles can promise me a wallaby in return. And I’m guessing he can’t promise me that because that would mean he is keeping a wallaby in his hotel room. The NBA released a 100-page rulebook on how to behave in the bubble and “not keeping pet wallabies” is right there in black and white on page 22.