Aron Baynes 14 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2015)

Aron Baynes carefully reapplied the Ratt poster to the wall of the bus. “Okay Steve. I think the Baynes Bus is ready to roll again.”

Steve, the driver of Aron’s “Baynes Bus”, looked over at the hulking New Zealander. “Man, those posters look gay as hell. Cinderella? Twisted Sister? Winger? What kind of loser would want to get on a bus with those spandex dudes staring at them?”

“Steve, I pay you to drive the bus, not to provide commentary on my decorating choices.” Aron replied. “I’ll have you know that 80’s glam metal is only surpassed by 90’s rap-rock in terms of sheer artistic vision. Now are you going to start driving or not? The people of San Antonio are officially ready to Bayng Out once again.”

Putting the bus in drive and rolling out of the parking lot, Steve grumbled, “I still think the Baynes Bus is a stupid idea.”

“You’ll see. We were going great until my last driver drove us into the river and lost me my fifty-thousand dollar investment. Now that we’ve got an on-board deep-fryer and a mini-dance floor, we’re going to be drowning in moolah.”

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Aron sat sadly on the purple carpeting, listlessly shooting Silly String into the air, only to have it come back down onto his face. A megaphone lay forgotten in his lap, and to his side was a large quantity of Four Loko cans as well as a depleted smiley-face-potato bag. “Well, at least we haven’t submerged the bus in a body of water yet.”

“I told you this idea sucked,” came Steve’s voice from the front. “But you’re the one who’s paying me to drive this thing around, so until you tell me to stop, I’m just going to keep circling this block.”

Aron struggled to pull himself up to the window. Outside were nothing but warehouses. “Steve, why are you driving around the industrial district? There’s no people here!”

“To be honest, I’m really not looking forward to my secondary duties as cameraman for your straight-to-DVD production.”

Checking the time on his phone, Aron said, “Well, we might as well call it a night. Four in the morning is too early on a weekday. Tomorrow, we’re definitely getting some people in on the Big Baynger Dunk Contest. That alone will sell thousands of DVD’s. The people of San Antonio will know fun on a level that they have never before experienced.”

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