Do I watch NBA games to be reminded of how the unidirectional flow of time ravages all men equally? Do I watch NBA games to have the concept my own mortality shoved into my consciousness? Do I watch NBA games to reflect upon the cruel nature of the universe? No, no, and, hmmm, let’s see, frickin’ no.
So, Vince, if you’re reading this, please retire before I get any sadder watching you struggle to even dunk anymore.