I’m fully aware that Taj “Taj Maball” Gibson had five assists in the game just as you’re fully aware that I probably am not going to show them in this highlight video. One thing I’ve learned in the course of making thousands of highlight videos is that big man assists are the worst assists out there, unless the big man in question is Mason Plumlee. Since Taj Gibson has, as far as I’m aware, never been more than an average passer in his career, I deemed it unlikely that he would suddenly break out the behind-the-backs and the bounce passes from half court just for this game. So I didn’t even look at his assists.
I take full responsibility if it turns out that his assists were the work of an emerging ball-handling wizard. It will absolutely be my bad if that happens. I’m confident that he’s not, but I’ve been wrong about things before, especially things were I just talk out my rear end because I’m too lazy to actually look.
Who wants assists anyway when, at the time that this video ends, the Taj Maball was ten-of-eleven from the field. Why would I interrupted such uncontrolled scoring dominance just to show him making some lame passes? He couldn’t be stopped. The one time Kevin Love thought he stopped him, he actually fouled him. It’s time to start using the phrase “too big, too strong” to refer to another player in Chicago, and it’s not that roidmonster D-Wade.