I was introduced to a new nickname for Sergio Rodriguez during last night’s 76ers broadcast: “Spanish Chocolate”. I guess it’s supposed to be a homage to White Chocolate Jason Williams, but it actually reminds me more of when Alaa Abdelnaby came up with the ultra-lame “Bus Driver” nickname for Jahlil Okafor (’cause he takes people to school!).
Luckily, DownToBuck has come to the rescue with yet another one of his audacious, ground-breaking player nickname creations: “Bearded Chocolate”. Is that awesome or what? As far as I know Jason Williams never had a beard so this nickname definitely isn’t taken. It probably hasn’t even been thought of before until I came up with it just now. I still struggle to see anything “chocolate” bout Rodriguez’ slow Euroness, but we’re rolling with it for now. His new official nickname is Bearded Chocolate and everybody has to use it when referring to him, starting now.
Anybody caught using out-of-date nicknames like “Chacho” will get arrested by the police.