DownToBuck can be somewhat of a hype junkie. I admit it. When I see good performances in progresses I just can’t help myself. I get hyped very quickly with little provocation. Here’s the hype timeline of my experience watching Marquese “Markweezy” Chriss against the Knicks last night:
First Quarter: I get hyped when Chriss scores nine of the Suns’ first nineteen points. The manner in which he scores this points does little to temper my hype, since there is a three-pointer and a couple of dunks. The free throws at the beginning delayed my hype buildup somewhat, so by the end of the quarter, my BHL (Blood Hype Level) is elevated but not yet in dangerous territory.
Second Quarter: Chriss dunks two more times to four points to his total, bringing him to thirteen. The dunks are of sufficient fury that my BHL remains steady even though he only makes two field goals and they’re spaced far apart.
Third Quarter: After I calmed down a bit at halftime, my heart begins to race again when Chriss gets fouled on an aggressive drive to the basket. I begin to imagine that Chriss can regain the glory of the first quarter and perhaps score twenty. His “altercation” with Porzingis does nothing to affect my hype either positively or negatively, since my hype is only affected by basketball plays and nothing else. However, Chriss fails to score for the rest of the quarter, and my BHL drops precipitously; heart-racing exhilaration is replaced with clammy fatigue.
Fourth Quarter: My hype continues to deflate until the end of the game. Chriss again fails to score any more points, leaving him at fourteen for the game. My hype is so depleted that I literally die in my chair and my cute kitty Japurri has to call the morgue to take me away in the morguemobile. Per my wishes, I am embalmed like a mummy and my body is donated to the basketball Hall of Fame so I can chill out with the mummy of James Naismith who I presume is there.
So, that’s it for DownToBuck. Thanks for the fun times everybody.