Markelle Fultz has scaled the first step on the near-infinite staircase to living up to being the number-one overall pick. Examples of some of the steps that appear on this staircase: Step 1: become an acceptable free-throw shooter (this one he’s already done) Step 2: become an acceptable three-point shooter Step 3: play effectively off…
Read MoreAuthor: downtobuck
Jarrett Culver Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2020)
Two very strange things happened in this game for the Timberwolves: -Jarrett Culver scored 26 points (which is strange because he’s not a good scorer) -Andrew Wiggins got a triple-double (which is strange because he’s not a good anything-er) Those two strange things combined to form a very ordinary Timberwolves occurrence: a loss. Oftentimes one…
Read MoreMarcus Smart Career High 37 Points/11 Threes/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/18/2020)
An unmoving, unclothed body lay sprawled on the marble floor. For some time, it continued to lie there, but the passage of this time was meaningless, for, in that place, the causality which served as the foundation of all existence was divorced from the flow of time. Then, the man awoke, and, in confusion, got…
Read MoreLarry Nance Jr. 16 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
This video was made speculatively, with yours truly speculating that Larry Nance Jr. would have such an outrageous display have acrobatic dunkage that this video’s very existence would raise sales of BoingVert by 200%. Do they even sell BoingVert anymore? It doesn’t matter, because this video, while it does contain some dunkage, does not contain…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 29 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
Tim Hardaway Jr. has it pretty good right now, what with being the second option behind Luka Doncic and all. He shouldn’t take this opportunity for granted because, before he knows it, Kristaps Porzingis’ unexplained knee soreness will magically resolve itself and THJ will have to go back to being the third option. Or Porzingis…
Read MoreVince Carter 14 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
Lloyd Pierce has gotta just be giving Vince Carter minutes for the laughs, right? There’s no way that VC, however large his legacy is, can actually be contributing to winning basketball right now. Last season, he was a pretty good shooter; this season, he’s not a pretty good shooter, as his 34% from the field…
Read MoreOG Anunoby 18 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
I am currently thinking about all the primo restaurant options OG Anunoby has as a resident of Toronto, and it’s getting me all worked up. I shouldn’t even be this hungry, I had a solid lunch, a solid dinner, a bunch of snacks, but I can’t stop looking at all these menus of good-looking Toronto…
Read MoreBam Adebayo 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
If Bam Adebayo wants more triple-doubles (and you know he does), he’s going to have to study some more game film of Nikola Jokic. If he doesn’t want to bother the Heat’s video personnel with such a request (word might travel through the grape vine that he isn’t 100 percent confident in his abilities), I…
Read MoreIsaac Bonga 17 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
In order to be the best Isaac in NBA history, Isaac Bonga has to surpass these players: -Isaac Austin -Isaac Humphries -Isaac Fontaine -Isaac Walthour Note: Jonathan Isaac doesn’t count because I’m only counting dudes whose first name is Isaac, not last name. Isaac Fontaine, Bonga has already passed, and not only that, he has…
Read MoreTroy Brown 22 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2020)
Bradley Beal is currently freaking out because he (suddenly??? hard to believe he wouldn’t realize before) now believes that the current ‘Zards squad that he is currently inhabiting isn’t good enough to deserve his elite scoring talents. Which is crazy talk in my opinion, just look at what he has to work with right now:…
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