Look how happy Pascal Siakam looks. Don’t you wish you could be that happy? Sadly, such happiness is locked away from you. Forever. Because you don’t EVER get to be teammates with Kyle Lowry, ever, no matter what you do or how hard you try. Sad, isn’t it? Siakam gets to be teammates with Lowry…
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Jaren Jackson 16 Points/7 Blocks Full Highlights (11/25/2018)
The Memphis Grizzlies blocked a lot of shots tonight. 10 of them. The most any team has blocked in a long while. They still lost, to the Knicks, somehow, but it wasn’t for lack of effort (except from Mike Conley, who didn’t block any, lazy bum). I don’t have numbers on how many of them…
Read MoreJohn Collins 23 Points/1 Block Full Highlights (11/25/2018)
Unstoppable force versus immovable object: can the Hawks’ tank, which never lets them win a game, be stopped by the Hornets’ total inability to win close games? We found out our answer tonight: the Hornets’ end-of-game brick stopped the Hawks’ tank dead in its tracks. Oh well, Hawks. Better luck next time. The Hawks could’ve…
Read MoreMalik Monk 26 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (11/25/2018)
I am starting to wonder if it really was Steve Clifford holding Malik Monk down or if it was, in fact, the badness of Malik Monk holding Malik Monk down. Because last time I checked, the Hornets had a coach whose name wasn’t Steve Clifford, Monk’s minutes are way down from the beginning of the…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 38 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/25/2018)
It’s official: D’Angelo Russell is “good” now. Before this year, he put up good stats, and he looked good on the court, but he wasn’t “good”. He is now. Officially. If you are wondering what makes my proclamation official more than the proclamation of some random loser on the Internet, it’s because I have a…
Read MoreDeandre Ayton 25 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/25/2018)
No one cares about so-called double-double machines anymore. What Russell Westbrook did last year and the year previous was great and fun and stuff, but it had the effect of devaluing the formerly-desired double-double. I mean, I can kind of see it. 10 points is obviously not that notable, and 10 rebounds, well, anybody can…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 18 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2018)
“Dear Diary, It’s scary playing somewhere where Daddy isn’t the coach. I know sometimes I wrote about how he liked Chris more than me and how it made me angry, but I take all that back. When Daddy told me that I was getting traded, I started crying and begged him not to. That made…
Read MoreDamian Jones 13 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/24/2018)
Damian Jones is the next in a long line of centers who get to look really good on the Warriors thanks to the fact that they play on a team stacked with All-Stars and aren’t expected to shoot any shots other than the ones they can reasonably make. How good Jones actually is, however, is…
Read MoreJayson Tatum 21 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2018)
Is rookie-year Jayson Tatum far enough ago, and revered enough, for this performance to count as VINTAGE Jayson Tatum? I would argue that, yes, this 9-of-14 shooting display is reminiscent enough of Tatum’s glory days to be accurately termed a VINTAGE performance from him. I would also say that Tatum’s rookie year, despite being lower-volume…
Read MoreJ.J. Barea 20 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/24/2018)
I’m having trouble figuring out whether or not the Mavericks are a good team. They’ve won seven of their last nine games after losing seven of their first nine games to open up the season, and they have many of the components of a good team: -Starter-quality backup PG (Barea) -Emerging young stud (Doncic) -Hyper-efficient…
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