“Hey John, you’re friends with a lot of the league, right?” Kelly Oubre asked his teammate John Wall as they changed into their street clothes. “Sort of,” John answered suspiciously, giving a sidelong glance to Kelly. “Why you asking?” “Oh, no reason,” Kelly replied. He paused for a bit, tying the laces on his stylish…
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Taurean Prince 19 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
So I know I promised you guys that I would write up the first chapter of my new sci-fi novel entitled “Taurean Prince”, which isn’t about the basketball player at all but is instead about the Prince of a race called the Taures who live on a different planet, but it turns out that I’ve…
Read MoreCourtney Lee 20 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
Courtney Lee has been a bastion of absolute reliability for his entire time in the NBA. Even though he’s never been the long-term answer for any team at the shooting guard position, he’s performed his role competently at every stop along the way. He shoots well and defends, but I feel like most teams acquire…
Read MoreBrandon Paul 15 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
Darn. I was hoping that the “Smooth and Chocolatey” catchphrase used in reference to Brandon Paul would carry through the entire season, but it looks like that was just a one-time joke for the Spurs commentators. It’s a horrible phrase, but it’s horrible in a way where you can use it every once in a…
Read MoreKyle Kuzma 21 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
Kyle “The Jakuzzi” Kuzma got outplayed by Lonzo Ball for one of the few times this season, but I would say that Kuzma is still in the lead in the “better Lakers rookie” race. Sure, he didn’t have a triple-double, and his hairline is merely average compared to the unbelievable straightness of Lonzo’s hairline, but…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 26 Points Full HIghlights (11/11/2017)
D’Angelo Russell showed off his “D’Angelo Chucksell” side in this game by not recording an assist until well into the second half. I can already imagine the rebuttals of pained Nets fans: “He has nobody to pass it to!” or “He made good passes but his teammates can’t hit shots!” or “He was supposed to…
Read MoreDerrick Favors 24 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
Not only is Derrick Favors’ 24 points in this game a season-high, it’s also a higher single-game total than he scored at any point in 2016-17 season. With that fact taken into account, it is fair to call this performance a VINTAGE D-FAVES performance. We haven’t seen him look this unstoppable down low since two…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
Let me again express wonderment at the fact that Joe Ingles AKA Jingles AKA Jinglin’ Joe AKA Slo-mo Joe AKA Sloppy Joe is not only an NBA player, but a valued contributor getting paid hella stacks. When I look at his flabby body, balding head, and pasty whiteness, it just doesn’t reconcile with what I…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 26 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
Somehow, Donovan Mitchell has quickly and decisively established himself as the number one scoring option on the Jazz. That’s probably clue #1 that the Jazz aren’t going to match the lofty expectations they set after their playoff room last season. You could argue that Rodney Hood is the number one scoring option, but I don’t…
Read MoreDennis Smith Jr. 21 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (11/11/2017)
My vibe receptors can be overly sensitive sometimes. On occasion I will receive false or erroneous vibes. If I stand too close to my microwave while it’s cooking me a Hot Pocket, for example, any NBA player I see will give me Matt Carroll vibes. The nuclear-energy research facility a few blocks away gives me…
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