I have discarded my old nickname for Paul Zipser, “The Zipper”. It was not a relevant nickname, because he basically doesn’t have any zipper-like attributes. He’s not especially fast (a zipper could be one who zips around really quickly), he doesn’t play especially great defense (a zipper could be a guy who zips people up),…
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Patrick Beverley 21 Points Full Highlights (4/16/2017)
“So this is how you prepare for the game, huh?” Trevor Ariza asked his teammate Pat Beverley, as the former observed the latter sitting in a corner of the locker room, hunched over a notebook. “I’m releasing my emotions through the power of charcoal drawings,” Pat answered. “It helps me stay focused.” Trevor’s eyebrows went…
Read MoreAndre Roberson 18 Points Full Highlights (4/16/2017)
For perhaps the second or third time in his career, Andre Roberson successfully made a team pay for leaving him open behind the three-point line. James Harden often doesn’t play defense, but in this video I’m pretty sure it was a strategic lack of defense on Roberson, not a lazy lack of defense like he…
Read MoreBobby Portis 19 Points Full Highlights (4/16/2017)
Bobby Portis was the reason the Bulls were victorious tonight. Bobby Portis won his team a playoff game. His first ever playoff game, and he, well, he didn’t exactly put his team on his back, but where would they have been without all his long jumpers? You can point to other players (player) on his…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris 21 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (4/16/2017)
How many poster dunks would it take before people started caring about Markieff Morris? Not just caring about him for one game or for one series; caring about him into next season. He had two this game, and I don’t think that was even enough for people to remember his existence immediately after the game…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 25 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (4/16/2017)
When I can piss of two fanbases at once, I have to take the opportunity: this Hawks-Wizards matchup is the lamest series in the whole first round. Two teams that are pretty okay (almost TOO okay), one more okay in the other, but only one super-compelling player between them. No, not Mike Muscala. I’m talking…
Read MoreJoe Johnson 21 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (4/15/2017)
This is Joe Johnson’s fourth highest-scoring game of the season. Combine that with his clutch shot at the end of regulation to avert overtime and snag the Game 1 Win, and you can only come to one conclusion: Iso Joe has STEPPED UP for the playoffs. He is EMBRACING THE SPOTLIGHT. He MAKES BIG SHOTS….
Read MoreLance Stephenson 16 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2017)
Lance Stephenson vs. LeBron James part deux was kind of a disappointment. The actual game was good, but where was the blatant antagonization of LeBron by Lance Romance? I wasn’t expecting another ear-blow, but I was expecting the threat of imminent physical violence. If the NBA isn’t going to be another WWE, I might have…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (4/15/2017)
Serge Ibaka showed up. DeMar DeRozan kinda showed up. And that was it for the Raptors. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “not perturbed at all” and 10 being “bootyblasted”, how mad at Dwayne Casey are Raptors fans right now? Based on what I’m seeing on social media, I’m going with 8-“Murderously enraged”…
Read MoreMalcolm Brogdon 16 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2017)
Playoffs are here! Not as exciting for me as the regular season (scrubs hardly ever go off in the playoffs, for whatever reason), but still, fun can be extracted from these games. And with the playoffs’ arrival, we can expect another thing arriving in tandem: a Raptors first-game loss. I spent pretty much this whole…
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