The worst thing about YouTube is that it discriminates against people who feel no emotions. And robots. If you fall into one of those two categories, DTB is going to do you a favor: I will provide emoji representations of the emotions you should be experiencing at certain crucial points in the video. That way,…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll 24 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (5/3/2015)
Think about how excited you are for DeMarre Carroll scoring 24 points. If you’re even slightly excited, then congratulations; you’re among the .00000002% of people in the world who share your excitement, however minimal it may be. Now consider how excited you would be if Carroll had taken his 21-point first half effort and replicated…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 286 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part II)
Stephen listened with annoyance at the voicemail message on Klay’s phone, giving his teammate a long opportunity to answer the call. “You’ve reached Klay Thompson’s phone, but he’s not available to take your call. Please leave a message…” Hanging up, Stephen shook his head. The messages he had been leaving were all being ignored. Even…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 286 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part I)
Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson sat in their getaway car, almost uncertain what to do next. They had just sneaked into Steve Kerr’s house, into his very bedroom, and stolen the magical three-point shooting amulet which he had been wearing around his neck. Now that they had the enchanted object, they realized that neither of…
Read MoreMike Dunleavy 20 Points/1 Tackle Received Full Highlights (4/30/2015)
Why did the Bucks get rid of Larry Sanders again? He would have been perfect for this series, as he already has a proven track record of punching Mike Dunleavy in the face. As it stands, the Bucks season comes to a close in about the worst way possible, getting smashed at home by 55…
Read MoreBoris Diaw 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/30/2015)
I’m getting chills over here thinking about how awesome Diaw’s offensive game would be if he wasn’t so fat. It’s already pretty awesome as long as he’s engaged. Imagine him running around with thirty fewer pounds on his tubby little belly. Blake Griffin would get more exposed than he already has been. It’s not worth…
Read MoreCourtney Lee 20 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2015)
My #payAttentionToCourtneyLee Twitter campaign has failed to gain any significant amount of momentum since I launched it two days ago. I don’t get it. Do I need to pay Twitter users to use my hashtag? Do I need to pay Twitter to promote it? If somebody tells me who to give money to, I will…
Read MoreAlan Anderson 23 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2015)
I’m not a NBA-quality coach or anything, but I’ve got an idea for a gameplan that would really help the Nets out in this series against the Hawks. Don’t have Alan Anderson be your leading scorer in a game. That’s just asking for trouble. It’s cool if he scores points. In fact, he should be…
Read MoreK.J. McDaniels All 42 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
To start off this description, I’m going to outlay a series of facts that cannot be disputed or disagreed with: -K.J. McDaniels is a good dunker -K.J. McDaniels dunked quite often while on the 76ers -Pizza is the second most versatile food in the world, after sandwiches and ahead of salads -After being traded to…
Read MoreKhris Middleton 21 Points Full Highlights (4/27/2015)
We all know that Khris Middleton is going to get paid a lot of Khash this offseason. His skillset is invaluable to most contending teams. The only question is, how much Khash will he end up receiving? It only takes one team to overvalue him and dash the hopes of all others. Let’s figure it…
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