(Jan. 20, 2014) Dear diary, Today my friend Ersan took me to the mall. There were malls in Greece too, but I never got to go. I never had the money to spend in them. Now that I have money, Ersan and I went just to hang out. I could have done that in Greece…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 14 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (5/11/2015)
Dënniß ßchrööder is one of the keys to the Hawks winning this series after they tied it at 2-2. That’s my hot take, and trust me, it is HOT. With John Wall out with a smashed hand, Sessions is the starter. That leaves ßchrööder matched up on either Garrett Temple or Will Bynum most of…
Read MoreNene 17 Points Full Highlights (5/9/2015)
Nene AKA “The Brazilian Bruiser” did not play very well the first two games of this series, a fact that was not lost on the commentators, who felt the need to bring it up after every shot that Nene made. I suppose if I was on-air and needed something to talk about, Nene going a…
Read MoreOtto Porter 17 Points Full Highlights (5/9/2015)
All the good sportswriters have the ability to put pop-culture references into their stories. I see it time and time again. If I want to be included in that elite group, it only makes sense that I must do the same. I tried this before with an earlier Otto Porter video, comparing him and his…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (5/9/2015)
Screw off Paul Pierce. It’s fine when you do it to a team that everyone hates and has an annoying fanbase, like the Raptors. It’s not fine when you do it to a team that hasn’t won it all since 1958 (when they were still in St. Louis), a team with a fanbase who has…
Read MoreJames Jones 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (5/6/2015)
James Jones is getting a little long in the tooth, and it’s time for him to start searching the league for one last payday. He knows his time with his current team is up, after only a single, marginally disappointing, year. Who can blame him for desiring a change of scenery? His unique talents, talents…
Read MoreOtto Porter 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (5/5/2015)
Randy Wittman is smarter than we all thought. There was a reason, after all, that he didn’t play Otto Porter very much until these playoffs. Why reveal your cards before the hand is over? It does no good for other teams to be able to get a reliable scouting report the Ottoman. Play him sparingly,…
Read MoreRamon Sessions 21 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2015)
At least the Wizards had a true backup point guard. The Clippers had to play an out-of-position Austin Rivers and an out-of-the-league Lester Hudson due to an injury to their star. Ramon Sessions, while not very good this year, is at least fit to hold John Wall’s jockstrap (remind me again how many 24-assist games…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 17 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2015)
If my dad was an NBA coach I would be super embarrassed by anything he did. That’s actually not too different from how it is now, but the problem with a dad-coach is that all the embarrassing stuff he’d do would be in front of the media. I would lock myself in an internet- and…
Read MoreIman Shumpert 22 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2015)
Iman Shumpert’s flattop is looking a little healthier than it was earlier in the season. Not as voluminous, but definitely sturdier. It used to resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa, veering rakishly at an angle due to its own immensity. Or, alternatively, looking like someone took a Dumpert on his head. Now it’s a classy…
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