I’m going to take advantage of my small amount of internet notoriety, and my ability to publish written work that does get read by at least ten people, to call out the people who are in charge of the Clippers’ broadcast: recalibrate the colors on your damn cameras! The Bucks’ court looked way too green…
Read MoreJoe Harris 22 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
Joe Harris, at this extremely late point in the season, is still shooting almost 47 percent from deep, best in the league. My hopes of him shooting 50 percent are pretty much over, because he STUPIDLY went 1-6 in the game before this (what a dumb-butt), but I still can hope that he’ll finish the…
Read MoreCollin Sexton 24 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
I feel like Collin Sexton is taking advantage of me right now. He knows that I’m committed to making highlight videos for him (as I am for all rookies), so he’s purposely scoring twenty points or more in pretty much every game since the All-Star break. He must be very vain if his primary motivation…
Read MoreDe’Aaron Fox 25 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
If the Sacramento Kings aren’t taking advantage of De’Aaron Fox’s last name by creating and selling a Kings-branded, purple-colored fox plushie with a firework of black hair on its head, I’m going to be over here SMHing my head because of their lack of business sense. If there’s one rule in marketing, it’s that human…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 27 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
Today I overcame my fear and plugged in the custom cryptocurrency mining hardware that Buddy made for me. Buddy is my 12-foot-tall 3D-printed naked purple plastic statue of Buddy Hield and he’s basically a genius the likes of which could go toe-to-toe intellectually with any of the greatest thinkers of our time. One of the…
Read MoreMitchell Robinson 19 Points/21 Rebounds/6 Dunks Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
I know that Mitchell “Makin’ You Into His Mitch” Robinson gets a lot of attention for his blocked shots, but I just had a sudden epiphany: his dunks are equally as sick as, if not SICKER THAN, his blocks. I had multiple involuntary reactions while making this video, ranging from gasps of surprise, to utterances…
Read MorePascal Siakam 31 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
Is Pascal Siakam currently being held down by Kawhi Leonard? Let’s take a look at the facts: -Siakam scores seventeen PPG more in games where Leonard doesn’t play -Leonard can be seen trying to play defense on Siakam when they share the court -Siakam shoots 8% from the field on possessions where Leonard comes within…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 16 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
Boban Marjanovic’s ascent into the king of NBA “meme” players has taken a sharp upswing with the addition of a three-point shot, the “memiest” shot-type in the league for players of his type. That type being “ridiculously huge Euro”. He was already one of the most ironically (and earnestly, by some sickos) loved players in…
Read MoreChristian Wood Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
Okay, so after Christian Wood scored a career-high 23 points last game, I was a little bit peeved with the Bucks’ front office, but I wasn’t, like, steaming mad or anything. It could have been a fluke. It was just one game, after all. A lot of scrubs manage to have one good game even…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/28/2019)
I still can’t even begin to understand the thought process behind the Heat blatantly underutilizing and then trading (for scraps [Ryan Anderson]) Wayne Ellington. Don’t even get me started on the Suns then waiving him. At least that kind of makes sense, since they are tanking and don’t want a good player like Ellington messing…
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