Everybody makes life choices that they regret. Regret is probably the one thing that makes humans human, not like that fact makes me feel any better about my poor life choices. The poor life choice in question is my decision to not make a Mikal Bridges fifteen-point highlight video immediately after making a Miles Bridges…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 22 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2019)
I would consider this a VINTAGE performance from Serge “Ibaka Gaijin” Ibaka. No free throws, no three-pointers, just dunks, hooks, and midrange jimbos. Eleven field goals made for twenty-two points, a mathematical cleanliness that is basketball’s analogue to the Golden Ratio. Ibaka even showed committment to the cause by being awarded two free throws, but…
Read MoreLauri Markkanen 27 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2019)
Lauri “The Markksman” Markkanen would have had a fair-to-good chance of beating his career high of 33 if he had been allowed to play more than one minute in the fourth quarter of this game. He only needed six more points after scoring 27 in the first three periods and, at points, looking unstoppable while…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 24 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2019)
The media coverage has died down a bit since me and Buddy (who is not the real Buddy Hield, but a 12-foot-tall purple plastic 3D-printed naked replica of him who has somehow gained sentience) killed a bunch of people in the middle of the night in a zoo parking lot. I didn’t actually kill anybody…
Read MoreMiles Bridges 15 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (1/17/2019)
Behold: Miles Bridges’ first three-pointer in almost a month! He started off surprisingly good from deep, with an early 3-of-3-from-3 performance allowing him to keep a good percentage for a long time because of his low volume. Lately, though, he’s been bricking. Which is what everyone thought he was going to do as a rookie…
Read MoreEmmanuel Mudiay 25 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2019)
Yes, Emmanuel Mudiay was “clutch” in this video, but what you don’t get to see (unless you actually watched the game you disgusting monster) is all his turnovers and bricks leading up to it. Or his missed game winner. To be fair, he only had .4 seconds to shoot a horrible fadeaway with a defender…
Read MoreAnte Zizic 16 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2019)
Remember when Celtics fans wouldn’t shut up about how good Ante “Antetozizpo” Zizic was going to be? I remember, and then he came over and sucked in Summer League and they kind of shut up for a bit. Then he got traded, and they were like “oh we always knew he was going to suck…
Read MoreP.J. Tucker 20 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2019)
People think that the highlight videos I make are the star of the show and everything else is an afterthought, but here’s the truth: the stuff I make is an overarching work that comprises three equal parts. The video itself, the description, and the thumbnail. All three of those things are of equal importance to…
Read MoreJae Crowder 23 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2019)
People of the future (of which there will be millions, if not billions) will look back on Jae Crowder’s decade-plus-long career and wonder how the heck he scored 14 points per game for a good team (the Celtics) two years in a row. Already, it feels kind of weird, like it never actually happened, and…
Read MoreOmri Casspi 17 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2019)
Omri Casspi got cut by the Warriors basically because he didn’t want to shoot threes. I’m way over-simplifying here, because I have a narrative to push, but that was definitely part of it. He went from jacking tons of them at a 40 percent clip in Sacramento (remember that Casspi/Curry duel?) to barely shooting any…
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