T.J. Warren put on another one of his bucket-licious bucketeering displays tonight, hitting 12 two-point shots and not really doing anything else. An “Andrew Wiggins” type of performance, which is funny because he pretty much made Wiggins into his own personal bitchslave tonight. If you asked me after this game who the number 1 pick…
Read MoreIan Clark 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
This video should be considered a Christmas present to none other than Ian Clark himself, because nobody else cares about him enough for a highlight video of his on-court exploits to count as a “gift”. Since this video is for Clark and Clark only, I have attached a personal message to him: “Hey Ian, The…
Read MoreJ.J. Barea 15 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
I still feel uncomfortable making fun of J.J. Barea’s Puerto Rican-ness by portraying him in my video descriptions as a midget Mexican. It’s a been a few months since the hurricane, but I think the people of Puerto Rico are having a tough time of it (do all of them have electricity yet?) so it…
Read MoreTreveon Graham 14 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
OFFICIAL GRAHAM POWER RANKINGS 1. Joey Graham (do you even lift bro) 2. Stephen Graham (more longevity than his first-place brother, but less scoring) 3. Paul Graham (highest scorer on this list at 8 PPG in his 3-year career) 4. Greg Graham (played in the 90s so some old-timers might actually remember him) 5. Treveon…
Read MoreJohn Henson 16 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
JOHN HENSON JUMPSHOT ALERT! JOHN HENSON JUMPSHOT ALERT! JOHN HENSON HAS MADE A JUMPSHOT! ALERT ALERT ALERT John “Captain Hook” Henson, as his nickname suggests, is infinitely more comfortable taking sweeping hook shots than he is taking jumpshots. He has, over the course of his career, fluctuated between “never ever taking jumpers” and “taking too…
Read MoreJaylen Brown 20 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
Jaylen Brown perused the selection of cards at his local Hallmark store. There were so many to choose from: get well cards, thank you cards, birthday cards, holiday cards, it was too much for him. Feeling overwhelmed by the options, he closed his eyes and grabbed one at random from the “Christmas” section. When he…
Read MoreManu Ginobili 15 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
It’s impossible to talk about Manu Ginobili’s old-man scoring game without using the word “crafty”. You just can’t do it. You can try your hardest, but that word will always slip out of your mouth without your meaning it to, because it is the perfect word to describe how Ginobili continues to be a competent…
Read MoreTyler Johnson 20 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
I have, off-and-on for the past few years, considered renaming my channel to simply be “I Hate Tyler Johnson”. Not because I actually hate Tyler Johnson; I don’t. But the unofficial threshhold for him qualifying for a highlight video is an even twenty points, and he’ll often score eighteen or nineteen instead. Thus, it would…
Read MoreWillie Cauley-Stein 22 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
Another high-scoring game for Willie Cauley-Stein, another game where he doesn’t shoot any of the jumpshots that I so desperately crave from him. I totally understand that he’s shooting 30% this year on jumpshots. I understand that. I also am fully aware that WCS missed the three or four midrange attempts he had in this…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 24 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
My 3D-printed statue of Buddy Hield has completely sated my need for human interaction. His gigantic purpleness is less judgemental of my unique lifestyle than humans are. Long ago I tired of dealing with so-called “normies”, but this twelve-foot-tall naked purple Buddy is about as far from being a normie as it’s possible to get….
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