There are a ton of people who are hyped for James Young, relative to his demonstrated on-court ability. Where did this hype come from? I’m too lazy to really find out, so I’m just gonna guess that he was a hyped prospect who went to Kentucky and was then drafted into the NBA at a…
Read MoreSheldon McClellan 15 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
Unlike mystery-man Rodney McGruder, I actually know who Sheldon McClellan is. For real. Remember, I’m being transparent and open now, with no falsehoods or deceptions. Sheldon McClellan is a very known quantity to me. My brain contains many facts about Sheldon McClellan. His first name is Sheldon. His last name is McClellan. He plays NBA…
Read MoreRodney McGruder 14 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
In the aftermath of the American presidential election, I feel it is prudent to be as transparent and open as possible. I may have acted, in the past, under the concealing cloak of opacity and closed-ness. In the interest of trust and friendship, nothing will be hidden; everything will be placed before the public eye…
Read MoreJoe Harris Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
I just had a total brainwave: get ready for mindscape-altering revelations: this time with extra colons: revenge of the colon: Joe Harris is what Jimmer Fredette would be if Jimmer was bigger. Wow, I just looked at that, and it’s actually pretty stupid. Dammit. I thought I was having some sort of realization on the…
Read MoreMarquese Chriss 16 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
OFFICIALS WAYS TO PRONOUNCE MARQUESE CHRISS’ FIRST NAME POWER RANKINGS 1. Mar-queasy 2. Mar-queece 3. Mar-cheese 4. Mar-quizz 5. M’-arr-queeze 6. Mar-keece 7. Mark-say 8. Mar-coo-ease 9. Mare-quayse 10. Tyrus Thomas
Read MoreTomas Satoransky 12 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
No John Wall, no Bradley Beal, no problem! Well, actually, the Wizards lost, so I guess it was a problem, but maybe not as big of a problem as you would expect! Small victories! Tomas Satoransky (depicted) and Sheldon McClellan (pending) are just as good basically. 15 for McClellan is pretty much what Beal scores…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 18 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
These are not the quality of highlights I expected when I saw “Buddy Hield” in the boxscore with a little “18” in the points column. I knew he didn’t make many threes, but I was anticipating an avalanche of swaggy midrange jumpers in their stead. I hope you like layups. I mean, there’s nothing inherently…
Read MoreAndre Roberson 13 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
Remember when everybody got hyped for Andre Roberson in last year’s playoffs because he was actually scoring points? They were all like, “Haha yeah Roberson’s playing really well, haha, we’re just pretending that the Thunder wouldn’t be way better if they had somebody at his position who could score.” Actually, that’s an unfair characterization. The…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 19 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
Listen, Kelly, I know it’s cool to have a beard now. Look at a magazine, watch a TV show, hell, just walk around town, you’re gonna see tons of dudes with beards of all styles, and they look great. It’s in to have little fibers growing on the lower half of your face. It’s hip….
Read MoreNik Stauskas 14 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2016)
Are 76ers fans still really pissed that Nik Stauskas even made the team? I feel like I saw a bunch of angry social media posts after the last player (Cat Barber maybe?????) was cut and Sucksass remained. Oh yeah, I wasn’t gonna use that nickname for him anymore. My bad. Anyway, I felt like it…
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