Coach Bud walked down to the end of the bench. “Kris. Kris! Hey, get ready to check in!” Kris Humphries did not react to his coach’s words in any way. He sat statuelike on the bench, blankly gazing forward. Play continued in front of him, but his eyes did not follow the action; instead, they…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 19 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2016)
Terrence Ross must read my video descriptions or something. Just days after I wrote mean things about him in the description of a Norman Powell video, he goes out and actually has a decent game by his standards. It’s like me saying how worthless he was made him determined to prove that he has worth…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 24 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2016)
Jonas Valanciunas is straight gangstering so far in these playoffs. Fifteen and twelve on good percentages? Those are pretty much the numbers that you’d see in a theoretical definition for “straight gangstering”. Unfortunately, a certain pair of unnamed “chuck bros” again cost their team the win with their poor shooting, poor passing, and overall poor…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 27 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (5/2/2016)
After tonight’s spirited performance by Dënniß ßchrööder, there can be no doubt: he needs a team of his own, a team where he can be the #1 point guard option. I’m not an expert on cap space and trade mechanics and all that CBA crap, but I AM an expert on the game of basketball…
Read MoreGeorge Hill 19 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2016)
Of all the dubious George Hill videos I have made in my life, this one is probably the most dubious. He didn’t even score twenty! Granted, it’s the playoffs, so I don’t exactly have a lot of options here if I want to make a highlight video, but nobody cares about George Hill when he…
Read MoreNorman Powell 13 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2016)
Well, the Raptors managed to squeak out the series victory, but it was on the back of the Chuck Bros shooting a combined 15-of-46 from the field in this game, not exactly a recipe for success against a tougher opponent. Meanwhile, Norman “Normie” Powell shot a very efficient 5-of-6 in his limited time off the…
Read MoreSeth Curry All 50 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Three-ilation)
Seth Curry vs. Stephen Curry: who is the superior brother? In this truthful description where only the truest facts are outlaid with veracity and accuracy, we will answer that question in a rigorously logical manner. THREE POINT PERCENTAGE: Seth shot 45.0% over the course of the season. Stephen shot 45.4%. The raw numbers cannot be…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 19 Points Full Highlights (4/30/2016)
When it’s the playoffs and you’re the Thunder and your leading scorer’s last name isn’t “Durant” or “Westbrook”, you know you screwed up. The entire point of having superstars is so that they can take over in the playoffs. The point of having two superstars is so that one can take over extra hard if…
Read MoreDanny Green 18 Points Full Highlights (4/30/2016)
Was Danny Green just playing with us when he sucked at shooting threes for the entire season? He shot 33% during the regular season, which is a jarring departure from his customary 40-ish percent, then the playoffs come around and, bam, he’s shooting above fifty percent like it’s no big deal. Was it all a…
Read MoreMyles Turner 15 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (4/29/2016)
One of my favorite things to do on the internet (other than make highlight videos) is to go on Raptors message boards after they lose a game. The funness factor of that activity gets multiplied by like a hundred if the game in question is a playoff game. and it gets multiplied by a bajillion…
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