The Wizards have been eliminated from playoff contention. What happened? The answer is simple, really. Sometimes teams just get worse for no reason. That’s all there is to it. Stuff that worked last year doesn’t work this year, and no one can tell why. Players change their games slightly, chemistry is subtly altered, and what…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 32 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2016)
Snitches get… something. What was it again? It rhymes with snitches, I’m pretty sure, because I remember this phrase being really catchy. Snitches get… DAMMIT. They get something. There’s a reason I bought that god-damn rhyming dictionary, so where the heck is it? Google is no help here… oh yeah! Bitches! Snitches get bitches! Because…
Read MoreRobert Covington Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2016)
OFFICIAL NBA FOREHEAD WRINKLES POWER RANKINGS 1. Robert Covington 2. Uh… Devin Booker? 3. I don’t even know I just thought it would be funny to point out how expressive Robert Covington’s forehead wrinkles are and I didn’t really think this whole thing through and I just wanted people to laugh and have fun at…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 22 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2016)
“Dear Diary, Well, the Rockets are probably going to miss the playoffs. We just lost to the Suns. How do you even do that? They suck. I guess losing to bad teams is something that happens when your own team is itself a bad team. Hopefully nobody ever reads or further disseminates my private diary…
Read MoreTyson Chandler 21 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (4/7/2016)
I recently found out about a sweet video that shows Tyson Chandler playing in some kind of high school showcase game (McDonalds All-American? Maybe?) and there’s a part where he just totally whams it on some little person. I don’t exactly feel like going back to find the link, but I would recommend going to…
Read MoreQuincy Acy 17 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2016)
Quickly Upleaping Into New Contortions, Yelling A Chilling Yell, He Ascends Supreme. Acy Never Is Calm. Earnestly Bringing Every Attached Rim Down.
Read MoreP.J. Tucker Career High 24 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2016)
Wow, I didn’t realize how bad P.J. Tucker is at scoring (cue Suns fans crying into their whiskey). At 8.8 per 36, he’s worse at putting the ball in the hole than basically (correction: literally) everybody who gets big minutes. He’s worse than Justise Winslow. He’s not worse than Tayshaun Prince, since no rotation player…
Read MoreNemanja Bjelica 18 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2016)
One of my greatest regrets is never compiling Nemanja Nedovic highlights. Well, maybe “regret” isn’t the right word, since Nedovic never had a performance even close to being worthy of my channel. I guess the right way to put it would be: I was hyped to do Nemanja Nedovic highlights, but he sucked, so I…
Read MoreMirza Teletovic 26 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2016)
It has come to my attention that Mirza Teletovic has broken the NBA record for most threes off the bench in a single season. Pretty good! Probably not as impressive as whatever record Stephen Curry is smashing these days, but still, pretty good. It’s not even really a record that should belong to Mirza, since…
Read MoreAl Jefferson 24 Points Full Highlights (4/6/2016)
OFFICIAL DTB POST-CAREER PREDICTIONS: AL JEFFERSON EDITION I predict that after retiring from the NBA, Al Jefferson will star in a Food Network show called “Big Al’s Big BBQ Journey” where he drives around the American south in a ratty old RV and eats at any little independent BBQ restaurants he can find. Each episode…
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