It’s been almost a whole season now, and I still can’t figure out why the Thunder would trade away Ersan Ilyasova. The only semi-plausible reason I can come up with is that it had to do with Enes Kanter and politics. That’s all I’m saying about that. You think I want to get put on…
Read MoreTag: Atlanta Hawks
Taurean Prince 16 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (3/16/2017)
I’ve already started outlining my upcoming fantasy novel titled “Taurean Prince”. Who says I can’t be a real author? I’m going hard on this. For those not in the know, this book is gonna be about a race of people/bull hybrids called the “Taures”. That’s where the “Taurean” part of the title comes from. It’s…
Read MoreJose Calderon 14 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2017)
This is kind of surprising. I thought Jose Calderon was done for real this time. He got some time in Los Angeles, even earning a few starts, but then they shelved him, and I thought that was gonna be it. The end of Calderon’s memorable NBA career. Memorable in the sense that Raptors fans still…
Read MoreTaurean Prince 17 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2017)
Just putting it out there: “Taurean Prince” sounds like a sweet name for some sort of fantasy/sci-fi novel. It evokes so many things: bulls, royalty, swords, aliens, bravery, time-travel, wenches, a whole bunch of cool stuff. I know what I’m gonna be writing for my next 1000 Taurean Prince descriptions! But I don’t have time…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 26 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2017)
Dënniß ßchrööder is getting to be a darn good player. The Hawks kicked Jeff Teague to the curb so that they could start The Schredder, and it’s paying off. Atlanta is still somehow a playoff team, and their main ball-handling professional is averaging 18 and 6 while beefing with Isaiah Thomas. That might seem secondary…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 31 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2017)
Dënniß “Sexy Nubian Princess” ßchrööder is a lightning rod for controversy. First he gets stranded in Germany because he tried to smuggle contraband in his bunghole, then he punched Dwight Howard full-on in the face on live TV against the Warriors. What’s next for this depraved maniac? I shudder to even think. Despite his off-court…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 24 Points Full Highlights (3/5/2017)
I remember thinking how stupid the Hawks were for giving a first-round pick for Tim Hardaway Jr. I was pretty low on Hardaway at that time, as were a lot of people, because he didn’t do ANYTHING besides inefficiently score the ball. I think I called him on it in a bunch of descriptions, because…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. Career High 36 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2017)
Seeing these retro Hawks jerseys (which are rad as heck BTW although the olive greens ones are raddest as heck) just makes me mad that I wasn’t around to make Pistol Pete highlights back when he was scoring 27 a game for Atlanta. I mean, I wouldn’t have even gotten to do the highlights because…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 18 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2017)
After a steady 7-year stint with the Milwaukee Bucks, Ersan Ilyasova is now on his fifth team in two seasons. I don’t know. I liked him. A lot. Apparently, though, the idea of having Ersan on your team is better than the reality of having him on your team, hence the incessant trading. True stretch-fours…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 25 Points Full Highlights (2/13/2017)
Tim Hardaway Jr. is averaging twenty points per game in the month of February. On 48% shooting and 40% from three. I get that he’s in a contract year, but those are numbers I thought were well beyond his reach, especially when he’s probably the third option on the Hawks after Schroder and Millsap. Junior…
Read More