After tonight’s spirited performance by Dënniß ßchrööder, there can be no doubt: he needs a team of his own, a team where he can be the #1 point guard option. I’m not an expert on cap space and trade mechanics and all that CBA crap, but I AM an expert on the game of basketball…
Read MoreTag: Atlanta Hawks
Mike Scott 17 Points Full Highlights (4/26/2016)
You have to wonder about the mental state of a guy who covers himself in tattoos depicting various emojis. I don’t even know what emojis even ARE, except that Mike Scott decided that it would be a good idea to get representations of them permanently inscribed onto his skin. If emojis are anything like other…
Read MorePaul Millsap 45 Points Full Highlights (4/24/2016)
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” Paul Millsap stated, clad in nothing but a bear-fur speedo. He stared out towards the court from the tunnel with apprehension. Steve, the Hawks’ marketing coordinator, fidgeted with his tie. “Actually, if you want to get technical about it, I’m not making you do anything. Coach Bud…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 20 Points Full Highlights (4/22/2016)
Bad news for Dënniß ßchrööder fans: it looks like the malignant yellow growth on his head has spread to the back of his neck, almost mockingly seeming to take the form of his jersey number, “17”. I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, I’d say that he is not long for this world….
Read MoreKyle Korver 17 Points Full Highlights (4/19/2016)
Lost amongst the brouhaha regarding some dude with glass ankles making an unprecedented amount of threes is the lackluster season that Kyle Korver has been having. Remember, he was an All-Star last year. An undeserving one, maybe, but one nonetheless. Once the darling of the NBA, he has been reduced to sub-40% shooting from three…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 23 Points Full Highlights (4/16/2016)
DeMarre Carroll points tonight: 6 Kent Bazemore points tonight: 23 Pretty damning, right? Those who thought that the Hawks would lose a step without role-player extraordinaire DeMarre Carroll did not anticipate the ease with which Kent Bazemore would step into his spot. The above point totals are not only an indicator of Kent’s superiority, but…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 21 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
Whoever this replacement commentator is for the Hawks, he has a huge man-boner for Kent Bazemore, and more specifically, the Bazed God’s athleticism. He probably memorized one fact about every player and can only say that one thing every time the player in question does something on the court. I wasn’t even aware the Bazed…
Read MorePaul Millsap 29 Points Full Highlights – Radiating Pain in my ARMS! (4/1/2016)
Who are you kidding? You’ll never dunk in your life so don’t even try. The Best jumping system! Try now because YouTube doesn’t let me make money off these vids so I need to get referral bucks from jump programs: https://goo.gl/iQPKHk —- All clips property of the NBA. No copyright infringement is intended. All videos…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 23 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (3/23/2016)
Now that we are certain of Dënniß ßchrööder’s ability to play well in the NBA, it’s time to put on your thinking caps: how badly would Dënniß the Mënacë dominate the German basketball league? Would he average 30 and 15? Would it be like Shavlik Randolph playing in China? Would we see similar levels of…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 20 Points Full Highlights (3/19/2016)
So… maybe the Tim Hardaway Jr. for Jerian Grant trade WASN’T the worst trade of all time? I still don’t get it for the Hawks, since Hardaway has never shown himself to be all that good, but at least with these two recent games by him you can say it wasn’t a complete waste of…
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