Chris Johnson stood in the checkout line, filling out a form for the supermarket’s loyalty program. The store was convenient to his house, so he figured that a few dollars of savings here and there would pile up in the long run. When he handed back the form, the checkout clerk’s eyes grew wide when…
Read MoreTag: Boston Celtics
Jared Sullinger Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2014)
Jared Sullinger and DeMarcus Cousins found themselves matched up on the battlefield, and fought to an even draw: 31 points and 16 rebounds for each. I don’t even know how to search basketball-reference for other times that has happened. Maybe if I had direct SQL query access. Anyway, yeah, Jared is looking like a legit…
Read MoreBrandon Bass 19 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2014)
Brandon Bass just scored more points (19) than many entire baseball teams score over the course of three games. Tell me again why people watch that boring crap? After you do that, try to come up with an answer that doesn’t use the words “tradition”, “America”, or “pastime”. Oh that’s right, you can’t, because baseball…
Read MoreJared Sullinger 21 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2014)
Am I the only who thought, during the Super Bowl, “I wish there was some NBA basketball going on right now that I could switch to?” Don’t lie. While watching that sickening blowout of a game and eating shoddily-prepared buffalo wings, you thought similar thoughts. How great would another Durant scorefest have been? Or, even…
Read MoreChris Johnson 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (1/28/2014)
Last season there were two Chris Johnsons in the league: this one, who played in Memphis, and a taller one who played in Minnesota. It was like the scene from a terrible nightmare. Every night I checked the box-scores with dread, wondering how many Chris Johnsons had been added to rosters since the last time…
Read MorePhil Pressey Career High 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (1/22/2014)
Oh man. No description this time. I just had some McDonald’s. I now remember why I never eat there; I’m so gassy I feel like I’m gonna die. I’m going to bed. Stay safe kids. Fine. Phil Pressey hit a bunch of threes as the commentators got more and more incredulous. And then he hit…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk Career High 25 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
“Olynyk looks like he’s playing in the Summer League” Oh yes, the NBA Summer League. Where NBA-starved fans gaze hungrily upon the new crop of rookies for the first time. Where one slick move turns into a multitude of hype-filled social media posts. Where the hopes of the faithful are raised to new heights, and…
Read MoreAvery Bradley 25 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2014)
Working intently with his fellow five-year-olds, Avery colored in his drawing. It was a badass rendition of Michael Jordan with his championship trophies. “Avery, can I have the box of crayons? I need the red.” asked his classmate Alex. “I’m not done with the red. You can have it when I’m done,” Avery answered, not…
Read MoreJared Sullinger 21 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2013)
Just A Really Enormous Dude, Sully Undresses Lovely Ladies In Nude, Graphic Entertainment Revues
Read MoreKris Humphries 18 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2013)
Kris “Kardashian” Humphries is more famous for his off-court exploits than his on-court play. I don’t know who Kim Kardashian is, or why people care about her, but Kris married her, and then a bunch of other stuff happened, and now they’re not married anymore. I don’t even know what the big deal is. Marriages…
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