“Explosion of the Emaciated.” “Clash of the Corpses.” “Skirmish of the Skinny.” “Apocalypse of the Anorexic.” “Terror of the Twigs.” Those are just some of the names that you could reference this game by. For a game between the league’s two skinniest players cannot simply be a “game”. It is something more. Watching Corey Brewer…
Read MoreTag: Corey Brewer
Corey Brewer 26 Points Full Highlights (2/21/2015)
Corey Brewer has found a spastic home in Houston, where his non-jumper and hounding defense fit right in with Patrick Beverley. Those first few games with the Rockets where he hit some threes are now revealed to be the illusion we all suspected they were; Corey now binges (then purges) on transition opportunities and stuff…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 25 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/28/2014)
These are some pretty good highlights. Corey Brewer hitting a bunch of threes, making funny faces? Always a good time, until you realize… Realize that he once scored 51 in a sanctioned NBA game. That knowledge kind of make all his other performances seem worthless. This isn’t even half of what he is capable of….
Read MoreCorey Brewer 12 Points/5 Steals Rockets Debut Full Highlights (12/22/2014)
I must be an oracle or something, because just nine months ago, I wrote this in a description: “[Corey Brewer] should be angling to get traded somewhere where the weather isn’t a threat to kill him on a nightly basis. He should also try to land somewhere where they allow you to eat food, because…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 18 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2014)
Corey Brewer is definitely in the top 10 “NBA Players Who Appear to Have a Drug Problem”. He is also in the bottom 10 of “NBA Players Who Appear to Have a Steroid Problem”. His arms are twigs, his legs are twigs, his head is a twig, and his torso is – you guessed it…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 21 Points Full Highlights (3/30/2014)
How does Corey Brewer survive the notoriously cold Minnesota winters? He’s so emaciated that he would probably freeze to death just stepping outside. Even the vaunted long underwear-tshirt-sweater-jacket combo probably wouldn’t provide enough protection from the bitter temperatures, and he would enter a hypothermic coma within seconds. One day we’re going to see a sad…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 19 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2014)
Corey Brewer has done a good job of tricking people into thinking that he is a good player. But your devious ruses are ineffective against me, Corey! I see through your little charade! You shoot too many threes that you have no hope of making, you gamble too much for steals, and you look like…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 27 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2013)
I was surprised when the Timberwolves signed Corey Brewer this summer. They drafted him, he sucked, so they got rid of him. Then he had an okay year in Denver and all of a sudden they want him back? He looks and plays like he’s strung out on coke. He’s supposed to be a good…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 19 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/3/12)
After my last Installment “Bismack Biyombo” the series “Vaguely Disappointing NBA Players” continues with Corey Brewer. The 7th overall pick in 2007, Brewer has been okay, but you kind of want someone a little better with that pick, you know? I’m not trying to put him down or anything but the fact of the matter…
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