Tag: Derrick Rose

In the past month’s worth of games, Derrick Rose (the guy who everybody liked to pretend had become an elite three-point shooter [including maybe me, shamefully]) has made a grand total of one three-pointer. One. In ten games. Contrary to popular belief, NBA players are very aware of their own flaws. Some players just don’t…

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Derrick Rose dicked the Bucks at the end of the first, second, and third quarters. That’s why my nickname for him is “Dick Rose”, because he dicks people. Luckily (for Bucks fans like me, not pleb Timberwolves/Rose fans like you), by the end of the fourth quarter there was no need for continued dicking, as…

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Derrick Rose has been out for a little bit, which is unfortunate for me because his absence results in a lot of minutes (and therefore, a lot of highlight videos) for a certain bald-headed backup PG whose name rhymes with bare-head payless. But now Rose is back in the lineup and back to his bounceback…

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I have seen comments by people on the Internet saying that Derrick Rose is not deserving of an All-Star selection this year. Before we continue, let us take a moment to laugh at those ignorami. Ha. Hahaha. I mean, I can see where they’re coming from, kinda. Rose’s stats are good, but they’re not the…

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It’s likely that I’ve advanced this opinion before, but I don’t care: the Minnesota Timberwolves need to wear these black/purple jerseys more often. They’re, as the kids say these days, “dank”. They make everybody look good in a dark retro synthwave type of way. The bright green jerseys also need to be worn more often…

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Derrick Rose had another great game tonight. This just keeps happening, no one is surprised anymore, this is the new normal for him. The only blemish was his game-winning attempt where he drove into a horde of Hawkes and got his floater utterly rejected. That’s why you never shoot floaters, people. With the way he’s…

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Derrick Rose is making me look dumb over here. Really dumb. He was supposed to be washed up this season, an old guy on the decline, the perfect player for the DownToBuck highlights channel. Last season, when he made his late-season arrival in Minnesota, he looked okay at times, but once you looked past his…

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Derrick Rose, as far as I can tell, is posting the best on-off splits of his career. Even better than his ones from his MVP-level prime in Chicago. Part of that is because he is a total beast who somehow came back from the dead to destroy Father Time forever, and another part of that…

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New goal for Derrick Rose: to average more points than he did in his second year in the league. He was at 20.8 that season, good enough for an All-Star selection at 21 years old. Right now he’s at 18.7, which is great for how he’s looked the last couple years, but I feel like…

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Is it legal for Derrick Rose to win the Most Improved Player award? Everyone keeps talking about his Sixth Man of the Year candidacy, and he’s definitely in the running for that, but that one wouldn’t have as much impact as him winning MIP would. I shouldn’t have to remind people, but he went from…

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