A few weeks ago, I rechristened Marquese “Mar-Queso” “Sea-Cheese” Chriss with the nickname “Bitch Cheese”. I did this because he was displaying behavioral patterns of being a bitch. The final straw was him getting into a scuffle with NBA golden boy Luka Doncic for no other reason than he was getting frustrated by getting out…
Read MoreTag: Golden State Warriors
Jordan Poole 15 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/3/2020)
Jordan “Poole Party” Poole has been racking up highlight videos like crazy since the beginning of February. If you had told me after Poole’s unfathomably inefficient month of December (11% from the field) that he was going to be making regular appearances on my channel, I would have told you that Warriors homers are not…
Read MoreEric Paschall 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/3/2020)
The Warriors were without a point guard for this game, and they were also without the point-guard-esque skills of Draymond Green, so the Warriors had to switch to a “point guard by committee” model. I have to say, the results were impressive: a solid win over the pseudo-contender Denver Nuggles. Eric Paschall contributed his part…
Read MoreMychal Mulder 15 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2020)
Before you watch this video, I am requiring you pass a small quiz in order to determine your worthiness. This is to bar bandwagon fans from being able to watch it and derive enjoyment from it (enjoyment, as a rule, is off-limits to bandwagoners). Post your answers in the comments. If you get them all…
Read MoreDragan Bender 14 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2020)
As much as it pains me to say it, Dragan Bender was getting held down in Milwaukee. You can make a compelling argument that he DESERVED to get held down, but it’s not an argument that I would agree with. He’s shown just enough skill in this league to deserve a rotation spot. Not a…
Read MoreJordan Poole 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/1/2020)
February is officially over, so the final February stats for Jordan Poole are in: 13 points and 3 assists on 45% shooting. Those are great numbers for a guy who was (and still is) on track to have one of the worst shooting performances in modern NBA history. And now Poole has carried over that…
Read MoreMychal Mulder 17 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2020)
Mychal Mulder (whose first name, suspiciously, has the same odd spelling as Klay’s dad…where’d I put that tinfoil hat?) improved on his fourteen-point performance yesterday to score seventeen points tonight. If there were any questions as to how legit Mulder was after last night, those questions have been thoroughly erased now. And if those questions…
Read MoreDamion Lee 20 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/29/2020)
Congrats to Damion Lee for smashing his previous career high in assists (which was 6), but man, these assists are LAME. The Phoenix scorekeepers must be so used to artificially inflating Ricky Rubio’s assist totals that they subconsciously do it for players on the opposing team as well. Assists used to mean something. They still…
Read MoreDragan Bender 13 Points/4 Assists/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/29/2020)
Tonight, the entire citizenry of Croatia, from stately Dubrovnik, crown of the sea, to glorious Zagreb, crown of the mountain valleys, was surely tuned in to watch this matchup between the Golden State Warriors and the Phoenix Suns. Representing Croatia for the Warriors was Dragan Bender; for the Suns, Dario Saric repped the beloved homeland…
Read MoreMychal Mulder 14 Points Full Highlights (2/29/2020)
It’s always exciting when I get to make a highlight video for a player whose existence is so cloaked in mystery that I don’t even know what they look like. I watch their first bucket with anticipation, for that gives me the chance to see them from the zoomed-out broadcast angle where their physical features…
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