Joffrey Lauvergne reclined in his throne in the central hall. Towering pillars of rough-hewn stone, from which hung silvern banners bearing his royal seal, a crimson red crucifix, flanked him. There were no windows; he found the glare of the sun to be unbearable, and he preferred to view his kingdom through the eyes of…
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Joffrey Lauvergne 14 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2017)
I hear the rapping of knuckles on my door. Not expecting visitors and fairly certain that I hadn’t ordered any pizza deliveries lately, I walk to the door and open it in confusion. Outside it there is nobody waiting for me, and my confusion is heightened until I look down and see an envelop waiting…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 12 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2017)
Twelve points isn’t a whole lot for Joffrey Lauvergne. He’s shown that he can be a semi-legitimate scoring threat at least some of the time, and a measly dozen points doesn’t adequately display what he has to offer. However, he barely gets any minutes on this Spurs team (Davis Bertans is stealing his minutes), and…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 17 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2017)
The second component of the Chicago Bulls’ “White Foreign Bigman Combo” (better nickname pending still pending), Joffrey Lauvergne, has finally had a good game with them. He was still part of the combo even before then, but that was only because they needed a third dude for the combo. Not because he was any good….
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 16 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (2/3/2017)
Do the Thunder even really need Enes Kanter? They can get 70% of the production and 0% of the forearm-destroying furniture attacks from the team’s resident Frenchman and stinky-cheese lover Joffrey Lauvergne. Lauvergne can shoot midrange jumpers just like Kanter does, but the thing is, he doesn’t NEED to, because he can step out behind…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 15 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2016)
Did something happen to all my French subscribers? Are they getting their highlights from other sources? Perhaps some “French NBA Players Only” YouTube channel? Because I’ve been over here uploading Gobert, Fournier, and Lauvergne highlights for their benefit, only to see these videos consistently fall short in terms of view counts. It used to be…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 15 Points Full Highlights (4/2/2016)
Quick Quiz: what is the proper amount of hair gel to use before you play in an NBA game? A. The whole bottle, Jeremy-Lin style B. Enough to keep your hair in one spot the whole game C. Enough to keep your hair looking good until you start running D. None E. It’s sweat not…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 16 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2016)
The Nuggets’ season has been over for a while now. Jokic and Nurkic have already gotten their chances to be shown off in the offense. Is it not Lauvergne’s turn now? I mean, he got thirty minutes, which makes it look like they were showing him off, but he only took eight shots, which means…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
Someone needs to tell Joffrey Lauvergne that his neckbeard looks horrible and needs to be removed. It can’t be just anybody, obviously. If I were to tell him, he would dismiss me as a know-nothing internet commentator who is merely jealous of his classy facial hair. If we could find the person responsible for convincing…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 12 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2016)
Mike Miller crossed his arms over his chest. “Joffrey, we’re sitting here in this club surrounded by pretty ladies, and you’re telling me that you just want to sit here and drown yourself in champagne?” Shrugging, Joffrey Lauvergne took another sip of champagne straight from the bottle. A trio of similar bottles, yet empty, adorned…
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