Tag: Matt Bonner

Here’s some truth nuggets for you. If Tim Duncan “rested” for every game, I would never stop making Matt Bonner and Aron Baynes videos. With those two manning the middle, it’s like a neverending highlight reel of low-athleticism plodders somehow scoring points. The next logical step is to play both of them at the same…

Matt Bonner has been starting a bunch of games for the Spurs in the absence of Tiago Splitter. Let me repeat: Matt Bonner is STARTING for the DEFENDING CHAMPION San Antonio Spurs. Take a look at the thumbnail. Your reaction should be mirroring his. Nothing against the Red Mamba, since I’m sure he tries really…

This is a different kind of Matt Bonner highlights video. Not of the usual “he makes a bunch of threes while looking like a doofus” variety. A bold new paradigm of audiovisual Red Rocket enjoyment. Yes, you inferred correctly. In this video, Matt Bonner attempts and converts a few shots at or around the rim….

It baffles me how you’re allowed to say “Red Rocket” on TV. I know it’s Matt Bonner’s nickname, but it is also a reference to the male organ. Is the joke that Bonner has a really big one? Or a small one? Or an especially red one? Or just that it’s funny to have a…

Gregg Popovich is widely considered to be one of the best coaches in the NBA. But he is not free from criticism. One of the points of emphasis for his detractors was his seemingly misplaced confidence in the abilities of Matt Bonner. Bonner is not a bad player, but his minutes were too high for…

One of my loser coworkers just bet me that I couldn’t name five things whiter than Matt Bonner. Loser has to buy the whole department Guiness-dipped quesadillas at Bojiminy’s Irish-Mexican Grille and Cantina. Here we go: 1. Matt Carroll (this is easy!) 2. Freshly-fallen snow 3. Copier paper 4. … 5. Screw you Steve! You…

Matt Bonner is seriously white. So white that he wears New Balance shoes. He is notable for being the only person to dunk while wearing that brand. Ever. He is also notable for his absolutely pure, if a little unorthodox, shooting stroke. He would be a lot more useful if he could get that thing…