Miami Heat – Page 20

Derrick Jones 16 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2018)

The Miami Heat have a new secret weapon: Derrick Jones Jr. using his freakish athleticism to fly in for offensive rebounds. It seems like, in the month of December, you can count on a few buckets per game from him just going in there and grabbing the ball off a miss because no one else…

Bam Adebayo 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/28/2018)

Crawling underneath my bed, I recover the sacred stone tablet which will serve as the final beacon of humanity after nuclear annihilation and ultra-lethal pathogens have wiped humankind from the terrestrial sphere of earth. On this tablet are inscribed the names of NBA players who made a significant amount of field goals in a game…

Justise Winslow 24 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/28/2018)

I can’t believe it. Spoelstra is trying to turn Justise Winslow into a full-time point guard, and it’s actually working. Heck, it’s more than working: Winslow is playing the best basketball of his life right now. How is this happening? Here’s the deal: I’ve seen Winslow suck for three or four years now. I’ve danced…

Justise Winslow 21 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2018)

Erik Spoelstra has come out and said directly that, with Goran Dragic out for a significant amount of time with an injury, Justise Winslow is the point guard. He actually used the words “point guard”. He didn’t dance around the issue. He just straight-up said it. Due to past experiences with coaches saying that a…

Justise Winslow 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2018)

“Dear Santa, I understand that, with just two days to go until Christmas, it is perhaps a little bit late to be sending you a letter containing Christmas requests. However, I figured you would be able to handle it given that you apparently don’t operate on the same plane of spacetime as the rest of…

Tyler Johnson 25 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2018)

Remember that story where Tyler Johnson said he puked after he saw that 4-year 50-million contract the Nets offered him? I was just reminded of it because I saw that he’s getting paid 19 million dollars this year (apparently it was a severely backloaded contract) and I puked. So me and him are really alike!…

Justise Winslow Career High 28 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/10/2018)

When Justise Winslow, walking through a back hallway of the Staples Center, felt himself get grabbed and pulled to the side by somebody with a very strong grip, his first thought was that he was going to get murdered. He instinctively tried to pull away, but his abductor quickly got him in a tight bearhug…

Dwyane Wade 25 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2018)

Since the last time I gave my subscribers an update, I’ve made some upgrades to my home steroids lab in my bathroom that have resulted in a better product. The first thing I did was move the operation to my kitchen, since I didn’t have room in the bathroom for all the equipment. I originally…

Justise Winslow 21 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (12/8/2018)

I’ve previously been skeptical of the “Justise Winslow is a point guard” movement, but the stats aren’t lying to me and my eyeballs aren’t lying to me either. Here’s what the stats say: Winslow had nine assists in this game. Here’s what my eyeballs say: Winslow is competent at running pick and rolls, which is…

Justise Winslow 20 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/7/2018)

Attention future parents: if you think that your future child has any chance at all of being a high draft pick in the NBA, take great care in picking a name for that child that cannot be easily transformed to contain the word “bust”. Write the name down on paper and then try to replace…