Wayne “Beef W” Ellington has been dead for a long time. A long, long time. He was dead while he was on the Nets, and then he went to the Heat where he continued being dead for all of training camp, preseason, and a bunch of the regular season. Now he’s alive again! I don’t…
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Goran Dragic 27 Points/17 Assists Full Highlights (11/28/2016)
Is this what making Russell Westbrook highlights feels like? I’m sorry I dissed DawkIns all those times; he has to deal with this kind of crap every night while I make vids of Colonel McDickballs scoring 10. Damn. Who knew making vids this long would be so hard? I don’t even like Goran Dragic that…
Read MoreDion Waiters 28 Points Full Highlights (11/26/2016)
Do you ever wonder what happens to the spiders that crawl on your wall and then the second you turn your head they disappear and you don’t even know where they went and they could be anywhere? I do. I wonder that a lot. No, the spider isn’t some metaphorical reference to Dion Waiters. We’re…
Read MoreTyler Johnson 22 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2016)
Just putting out there right now: for a night with all 30 teams playing, tonight SUCKS for highlights of role-players. Just straight up sucks donkey dong. I don’t even know what I’m going to do after this, because this is like the tip of the crap iceberg. It only gets crappier from here. Tyler Johnson…
Read MoreJames Johnson 17 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2016)
“James, you have to be like LeBron,” Erik Spoelstra urged his player. “We need you to be like that for us or we’re going to suck forever.” James Johnson looked up at his coach, tears beginning to form in his eyes. “I can’t, coach. I’m not good enough.” “I believe in you,” Erik said firmly,…
Read MoreDion Waiters 23 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2016)
At around the 0:25 mark of this video you can hear some weird audial artifact. At first you would think that was just an encoding error or some other technical glitch, but when you run an analysis on the odd scratching/warping noise, it quickly becomes clear that the glitch is not human in origin. It…
Read MoreJosh Richardson 18 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2016)
I’m not even going to talk about how the Bucks gave up a 25-2 run at the end of their game against the Heat. That topic will officially not be brought up in any capacity whatsoever once this sentence ends. There. We’re not talking about it anymore. Okay? Instead, I will talk about how good…
Read MoreJosh Richardson 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/15/2016)
Those who expected the Heat to withstand the loss of Dwyane Wade and the clots of Chris Bosh were deluding themselves. Dion Waiters and Luke Babbitt are not suitable replacements, unless your goal as a team is to tank. Sorry to say, the Heat have burned out for now. Press F to pay respects. I’m…
Read MoreDion Waiters 27 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2016)
Dion Waiters received a ballot from the elderly attendant at the polling place. He muttered a barely-audible thanks, which was met with nothing but a tight-lipped smile. He hadn’t expected much more. Ever since he stepped into this middle-school gymnasium, there had be nothing but a few hushed words, the old ladies performing their duties…
Read MoreRodney McGruder 14 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
In the aftermath of the American presidential election, I feel it is prudent to be as transparent and open as possible. I may have acted, in the past, under the concealing cloak of opacity and closed-ness. In the interest of trust and friendship, nothing will be hidden; everything will be placed before the public eye…
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