Usually, when a player scores illegitimate points, I become upset because it results in a highlight video that is built upon a foundation of lies. It’s even more upsetting when the illegitimate points are the difference-maker between “that’s not enough points for a DTB highlight video” and “that is indeed enough points for a DTB…
Read MoreTag: Michael Porter Jr.
Michael Porter Jr. 15 Points Full Highlights (9/9/2020)
We’re going to go ahead and blame ‘Ggets coach Mike Malone for the fact that Michael Porter Jr. didn’t score any points in the second half. If you have other people you’d like to blame, you can post them in the comments, as long as they’re not MPJ, who is absolutely 100 percent blameless. Malone…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 18 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (9/7/2020)
It’s become increasingly clear that when Michael Porter Jr. is on the court for the ‘Ggets, the opposing team targets him on defense. Not every possession or anything, but it’s just a thing that they are always thinking about: “How can we arrange things so that MPJ is the one guarding the dude with the…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 15 Points Full Highlights (8/25/2020)
OFFICIAL REASONS TO MAKE THIS VIDEO POWER RANKINGS 1. Everybody loves Michael Porter Jr. and they will watch anything that has the words “Michael Porter Jr.” in the title of the video. I know this is true because I took a video of me making fart noises with my armpits, titled “Michael Porter Jr. 15…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 28 Points Full Highlights (8/19/2020)
I hear a lot of mean people saying a mean thing about Michael Porter Jr. Somehow, these mean people are unmoved by his sudden emergence in The Bubb as a premier scorer, and continue to say mean things because their hearts are made out of tar and black holes. The mean thing they say is…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 23 Points Full Highlights (8/8/2020)
The good news: Michael Porter Jr. continued his run of high-scoring games with 23 points in a double-overtime Nuggets win over the Jazz. The bad news: Michael Porter Jr. was 7-of-18 from the field, 1-of-8 from three, and spent significant chunks of the game not scoring any points. The entire first half elapsed without him…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 27 Points Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
I really thought Michael Porter Jr. was going to drop another thirty-burger in this one, but his grand plans were foiled by the fact that he didn’t score any points at all in the final seven minutes of this game. My plan to eat thirty McDonald’s cheeseburgers in celebration of his thirty-burger was also foiled….
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. 30 Points Full Highlights (8/5/2020)
DTB’S FUN FACT OF THE DAY: Michael Porter Jr. just scored thirty points in two consecutive games. The last player to achieve that feat was the Bucks’ Carlos Delfino in the 2011-12 season. Believe it or don’t. Right now I’m hoping that all the Nuggets that are currently injured decide to stay injured for just…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. Career High 37 Points Full Highlights (8/3/2020)
Michael Porter Jr. rolled over groggily, slowly awakening from what must have been a very deep sleep. However, when his nose smashed against the unyieldingly hard surface below him, his return to full consciousness was hastened substantially. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at a floor made out of pure marble. Thinking that his…
Read MoreMichael Porter Jr. All 141 Field Goals Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Bucketilation)
OFFICIAL REASONS THAT MICHAEL PORTER JR. DIDN’T AVERAGE 15 PPG THIS SEASON POWER RANKINGS 1. Paul Millsap Paul Millsap ruined the Nuggets with the combination of his huge contract, his athletic decline, his statistical impotence, his skillset reduncancy with other members of the Nuggets roster, and with his overall ruinistic tendencies. And not only did…
Read More