Channing “Frye Sauce” Frye sat out all of last season with an screwed-up heart. The doctors claimed it was a genetic abnormality, present since birth, but I know better. ————————————– Channing was pacing. He always paced his room when he was nervous. The phone was sitting on his bed, just waiting to be picked up…
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Miles Plumlee 12 Points/6 Dunks/3 Blocks Full Highlights (12/13/2013)
For the mathematically inclined viewers out there, you may notice that Miles Plumlee’s dunk total is exactly half of his point output. What can we deduce from that observation? That’s right. All of Miles’ points last night came from dunks! All of them! Life is pretty unfair sometimes. I’ve never dunked a basketball in my…
Read MoreMarcus Morris 22 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2013)
“The dream-viewer is almost ready, Dr. Stern.” “Thank you, Judy. Go ahead and hook up our test subject to the device.” Marcus Morris squirmed in his restraints, but the tranquilizers were already having an effect on his nervous system, and he felt a little groggy. “Dude, let me go! I don’t wanna be hooked up…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris 25 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2013)
The PA guy’s voice boomed: “Markieff Morris, entering the game for Channing Frye.” Markieff, still sitting on the bench, could hardly contain his laughter as he watched his brother go in his place. None of his teammates knew, nor his coaches. But they would know soon if he couldn’t get his giggling under control. As…
Read MoreChanning Frye 25 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)
The klaxons went off without warning, startling Channing out of his cryo-sleep. The computer’s voice, usually a pleasant female tone, now bellowed in the manner of a drill sergeant: “CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! ALIENS ABOARD THE SHIP! ALL PERSONNEL TO REPORT TO CENTRAL BAY FOR INSTRUCTIONS! CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE!” If Channing hadn’t already been…
Read MoreMarcus Morris 16 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2013)
What is the nature of existence? What truly is reality besides that which we perceive ourselves? I’m sitting here at my computer watching Marcus Morris drop 16 points (all on jumpers, too) and it occurs to me that I can’t even be sure that Marcus is a person in the same way that I am…
Read MoreGerald Green 23 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/20/2013)
Gerald, man, I know you’re reading this. The NSA gives me a list of all the names associated with all the IP addresses that view my videos. I know you watch the highlights I’ve made of you. Listen to my words, and listen well. You need to shave that god-awful facial hair off. It’s horrible….
Read MoreMarcus Morris 19 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2013)
Markieff Morris is one of the success stories of this nascent NBA season. He’s been putting good scoring numbers on good efficiency. But what about Marcus Morris? Eh. That about describes his season, and even his career, up until this point. He’s not a bad player. He can be pretty good, sometimes. Does he need…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2013)
There is a whole world of identical twin related humor out there, ready to liven up this boring YouTube description. But I’m not going to use it. Markieff Morris is his own human being and deserves to be judged on his own merits. Marcus Morris had nothing to do with his brother’s 23 points (except…
Read MoreEric Bledsoe 25 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2013)
I just read Eric Bledsoe’s Wikipedia article. What I found interesting was that apparently there was controversy regarding his high school transcript; his grades had been altered to make him NCAA eligible. Which illustrates the folly of the concept of a “student-athlete”. Why should Bledsoe be forced to get good grades in order to further…
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