Diante Garrett 9 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2013)

I know the question that you’re all thinking. And I’m sorry, but I don’t have the answer. I don’t know who the hell “Diante Garrett” is either. Well, I know he’s an NBA player. From Milwaukee. Went to college at Iowa State. Has some crappy facial hair. But I don’t have any insights on his…

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Kosta Koufos Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2013)

Kosta “Greek Salad” Koufos is the starting center for the Denver Nuggets. This is notable because they are paying fan-favorite JaVale McGee a ton of money only to be his backup. So Koufos must be pretty good, right? I’d say so. He scored the first 13 points for the Nuggets last night. Only a player…

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Hamed Haddadi Career High 13 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2013)

Hamed Haddadi played a bunch of years with the Grizzlies and never really did much of anything. If I were him I would’ve played in whatever domestic league Iran has, I’m sure he would be Shaq-esque. On the other hand, the pay for being a bench warmer is still really good. I wish I could…

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Wes Johnson 18 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2013)

One of the best ways to tank is to get a talented yet undeveloped player, play him thirty minutes a game, and tell him to take all the shots. This accomplishes two things – you lose most of your games, because the player taking all of your shots is horrible, and you develop your raw…

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Jared Dudley 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/9/2013)

Jared “Dudders” Dudley somehow lost his starting job in Phoenix. That seems kind of weird to me, considering he’s one of their best players. Probably just a decision by Hunter to make it seem like he’s doing something. Or, more likely, they are trying to lose games in order to get a better draft pick….

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Michael Beasley 24 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2013)

The Phoenix Suns are in a bad place right now. A place with no light, only the gnawing sounds of tortured souls and the eyeless face of a vengeful god. A place where hope is a lost concept, and despair permeates the air. A place of unscalable walls and byzantine corridors. A place where they…

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Marcin Gortat 21 Points Full Highlights (2/24/2013)

As the trade deadline approached I though for sure that Marcin Gortat would get moved. He’s a good center in a league that lacks good centers; a team like the Thunder or Celtics would love to have a center of his caliber. But, alas, he remained untraded, and will rotting away on the terrible Phoenix…

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Kendall Marshall 11 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (2/5/2013)

Why don’t the Suns ever play Kendall Marshall? Yeah, we get it, you’re still sore over not having Steve Nash anymore, but you don’t need to take it out on this poor rookie. Nothing you do will ever bring Nash back. He’s a Laker now. He will retire as a Laker. And all you have…

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Jared Dudley 23 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2013)

Jared Dudley is a 100% total bust. He has been nothing but trash for every team he’s played for and I have to think that the only reason he keeps getting gigs is pity. He also rocked the worse cornrows I’ve ever seen in the NBA. What a worthless scrub. Just kidding (except the cornrows…

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