Is it too late to fix Mason Plumlee’s free throws? I’m getting Shaq flashbacks (Flashshaqs?) here. Plumlee acts like he’s going to shoot it normally with two hands, but at the last second, his guide hand goes away and he just one-hands it. His borked form worked for him this game, but I’m doubtful that…
Read MoreTag: Portland Trailblazers
Ed Davis 17 Points/15 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
Shilling for McDonalds’ food products is a plague which is overtaking NBA commentary crews nationwide. First it was the Jazz commentators talking about how much they love McFlurries even though a neutral third party would doubtlessly find the consuption of a McFlurry akin to eating a bowl of wallpaper paste. Now it’s the Blazers commentators…
Read MoreAllen Crabbe Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2015)
Good to see you again! I hope you have your book report ready to turn in! 10 pages front-and-back, single-spaced on how the “Harry Potter” series is different when you replace all instances of the character Vincent Crabbe with Allen Crabbe. What do you mean, you only got through the first few chapters of the…
Read MoreAllen Crabbe Career High 15 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2015)
Today’s assignment: Reread the entirety of the “Harry Potter” series, replacing in your mind any instances of the character Vincent Crabbe with NBA player Allen Crabbe. That part in book two where Crabbe and Goyle get roofied with cupcakes and other treats in order for their DNA to be forcefully extracted from them? Allen Crabbe…
Read MoreMeyers Leonard 17 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2015)
It’s just perfect that as soon as the Blazers’ front office finally shows some confidence in Meyers Leonard, he starts playing poorly. He’s picked it up a little bit since his awful start, but 6-of-26 from three for Mr. 50-40-90 is still pretty garbage. Like, Greivis Vasquez level garbage. That’s not good. He also has…
Read MoreMeyers Leonard 14 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2015)
“Hey Meyers!” Meyers Leonard turned around to find Blazers GM Neil Olshey addressing him. He immediately put on a smile and reminded himself to be on his best behavior. It was the man who paid the checks, after all. “Hi Neil. How are things?” Neil seemed distracted. He ignored Meyers’ friendly greeting and instead said,…
Read MoreMaurice Harkless 15 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/4/2015)
Neil Olshey, hearing his phone ring, took a moment to steady himself before answering. “Neil Olshey speaking.” “Hi Neil. It’s Rob Hennigan from the Magic. Hey, have you been crying? Your voice is all wavery.” “Allergies,” Neil responded, gazing longingly at a framed picture of LaMarcus Aldridge which sat in the middle of his desk….
Read MoreAl-Farouq Aminu 17 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2015)
“And this will be your locker,” Neil Olshey said. “It was actually the one LaMarcus used last season, but we don’t talk about that.” “Sure,” said Al-Farouq. It looked a lot like any other locker in any other locker room. In fact, it was exactly the same. He looked back over at Neil to see…
Read MoreC.J. McCollum Career High 37 Points Full Highlights (10/28/2015)
As a slow start for CJ McCollum to the season turned into a slow middle of the season turned into a slow end of the season, I was ready to break out the famed “bust” label and affix it directly to CJ’s forehead. The 10th overall pick should have shown more, said I, even if…
Read MoreLaMarcus Aldridge All 280 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Jumperilation Part III)
LaMarcus waited patiently for his date to say something. She was the desperate one, right? “Um, well, I like going to art galleries,” Jennifer offered, sipping her coffee. “Art is okay,” LaMarcus said with little interest in his voice. “I like sports better.” “Oh, that’s right, your profile said you play for the Portland Trailblazers….
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