START MESSAGE NOTICE: THE RUDY GOBERT JUMPER ADVISORY SYSTEM HAS BEEN DOWNGRADED TO GREEN – “LOW – RUDY GOBERT IS JUST DUNKING IT FOR NOW”. See the attached chart for reference: http://imgur.com/NvD6Xf5 Despite the appearance of a Rudy Gobert jumper that was identified at 5:14 in the third quarter of the Jazz-Suns game on 12/6/2016,…
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Rudy Gobert Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2016)
START MESSAGE THIS IS A RUDY GOBERT JUMPER ALERT! THE RUDY GOBERT JUMPER ADVISORY SYSTEM HAS BEEN UPGRADED TO ORANGE – “HIGH – RUDY GOBERT MADE A JUMPER”. See the attached chart for reference: http://imgur.com/NvD6Xf5 This is not a drill. Repeat: this is not a drill. A Rudy Gobert jumper was identified at 5:14 in…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 19 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (11/23/2016)
The only thing lamer than layups is free throws. Free throws are the least interesting part of any highlight video; they are boring to the point where a player with too many made free throws is automatically disqualified from my highlight services no matter how many points he scores. “Too many” free throws is a…
Read MoreRudy Gobert All 96 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
Life had gotten significantly more luxurious, Rudy Gobert decided, since he had a sofa placed on the porch. Now, he could recline in the cool shade, just a stone’s throw from the entrance to his expansive Victorian garden. A ceiling fan ensured that the proper amount of breeze was directed towards his face at all…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 16 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (4/10/2016)
It’s sad to admit, but the hype-train has derailed for Rudy Gobert. He used to be the darling of the NBA, loved by analytics-oriented stat-obsessed fans and actual-game-watching highlights-craving fans alike. A future with him as the best defender in the NBA seemed an inevitability. What happened? Two things: One, he regressed a bit this…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 17 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2016)
How much more imposing is Rudy Gobert now that he has a collection of little bristly hairs on his chin and cheeks? Back when he was rocking a clean-shaven face, honestly he looked more like a pile of candle wax drippings than a basketball player. Now that Gobert looks like a human being, I imagine…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 18 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (1/16/2016)
How sad it must be for Rudy Gobert, once the darling of the NBA, to see these newcomers, this “Porzingis” and this “Towns”, receive the admiration that was previously reserved for himself. Do the fans not remember his acrobatic defense, punishing dunks, and cheeky salutes? Or do they remember, but no longer care?
Read MoreRudy Gobert 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/10/2015)
Uh oh. Five shown assists in a highlight video of a big man? You know what that means! Handoffs! It’s like watching the NFL up in here. Lots of handoffs, and one actually sick pass that probably could have just been shown by itself. This happened last time Rudy Gobert had a bunch of assists….
Read MoreRudy Gobert All 134 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
Rudy Gobert reclined in the chair on his porch, sipping a small glass of chartreuse. In front of him stretched the expanses of his finely-cultivated Victorian garden. Here and there, a dazzling peacock would appear in a pathway, strutting self-assuredly. Rudy could see a few of his gardeners tending to the flora. Sometimes it was…
Read MoreRudy Gobert Career High 20 Points/17 Rebounds Full Highlights (4/13/2015)
You’re 7 foot nothin’, 200 and nothin’, and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best professional basketball players in the land for 2 years. And you’re gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of the Utah Jazz. In this life, you don’t have…
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