Ty Lawson stumbled through the door of the liquor store. It was two in the morning, and he had already consumed the purchases he had made at the same store not five hours prior. Unsteady on his feet, he gripped the shelves to make sure that he stayed upright; falling down due to drunkenness was…
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Damjan Rudez 11 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2016)
The lowly grunt in the video room at the Amway Center was setting up a replay of the most recent made three-pointer. He didn’t know who had made the shot, or if it was important in the context of the game, but until something more exciting happened, replays of three-pointers were a good fallback option…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 20 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2016)
In perusing my large collection of Timofey Mozgov closeups for the perfect thumbnail image, I’ve noticed something: Mozgov has the greyest eyes ever. They are greyer than grey. The are both gray and grey simultaneously. Unlike some special snowflakes who characterize their eye color as “hazel” or “green” (both being made-up colors), Mozgov’s are legit…
Read MoreTrey Lyles 18 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2016)
“We’re going to do good, you and I,” Trey Lyles mumbled, holding a tattered cardboard box in his hands. He put his face next to the opening and laughed happily, as if something inside it had replied. “That’s right. We’ll be unstoppable.” Jeff Withey had wandered over. “Do you have to give yourself a pep…
Read MoreDion Waiters 27 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2016)
Dion Waiters received a ballot from the elderly attendant at the polling place. He muttered a barely-audible thanks, which was met with nothing but a tight-lipped smile. He hadn’t expected much more. Ever since he stepped into this middle-school gymnasium, there had be nothing but a few hushed words, the old ladies performing their duties…
Read MoreRondae Hollis-Jefferson Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
I sit in my high-quality leather office chair, perusing basketball-reference for possible highlight videos to create, each statline going into the appropriate category in my highly-organized mind: too good of a player, too many points, a player whom I dislike, etc. It is all an automatic process for me, for I am the mortal man…
Read MoreJared Dudley 19 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2016)
“Dear DTB, I would greatly appreciate it if you could refrain from insulting my weight in your video descriptions this season. I know I have not had much on-court impact yet, but my recent nineteen-point game deserves respect, respect that is erased when you repeatedly demean me for my alleged fatness. I am not fat….
Read MoreJake Layman 9 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (11/9/2016)
Jake Layman had easily located the home locker room in the Staples Center. By pretending to be a new member of the Clippers’ training staff who had gotten lost in the arena, a security guard had given him step-by-step directions. Now, he pushed open the door and went inside. The main locker area was empty,…
Read MoreJ.J. Barea 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/6/2016)
“This is going to be so funny,” Dirk giggled as he sat on the floor next to J.J. Barea’s locker, applying mortar to a pile of nearby bricks. “J.J.’s gonna be pissed.” “I hope he gets the joke,” said Harrison Barnes, who was overseeing the construction project. “It would be lame if we had to…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 15 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2016)
Marreese Speights had just tipped in a miss by his teammate when he felt that familiar tingling on the top of his head. He barely had time to whisper “oh no” before an unbelievable pain jolted through him. He doubled over, clutching his head, knowing that soon his cyst would begin receiving transmissions in the…
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