Tonight was a highly anticipated battle between the two newest Serbs in the NBA: Milos Teodosic and Bogdan Bogdanovic. Not everyone got the chance to watch the game, and highlights don’t tell the whole story, so with the power of analytical factual true analysis, I will attempt to derive who had the better game, who came out on top in this inter-Serbia contest.
Bogdanovic had 22 points, a figure that more than doubles Teodosic’ measly and insignificant point total. Can’t deny it. It’s math. Advantage: Bogdanovic
FIVE O’CLOCK SHADOW
Teodosic wandered into the arena looking like he had a long day at work and needed a stiff drink right away. Meanwhile, I can’t tell if Bogdanovic is really really good at shaving or doesn’t need to shave at all, because his face was perfectly 100% smooth as a baby’s bottom. Advantage: Teodosic
I think both of these dudes are Serbian. Advantage: Serbia
TEAM WIN STATUS
Teodosic’ team, the Clippers, won the game, but that’s only because his supporting cast is way, WAY better than Bogdanovic’s Kings. I can rationalize it all I want, but the NBA is clear: the Clippers won, and the Kings lost. There are no what-ifs when it comes to this. Advantage: Teodosic
CONNECTION WITH WILLIE CAULEY-STEIN
I was watching really close, and while Teodosic did have 9 assists, not even one of them was to Cauley-Stein. Is there even any chemistry between them? If there is, it’s so slight as to be undetectable. Bogdanovic, on the other hand, delivered a full 50 percent of his assists to WCS on this night, all of them for lob dunks. There is chemistry blossoming on this balmy Sacramento evening. Advantage: Bogdanovic
The facts have been analytically analyzed with truthfulness and veracity. The result: it’s a tie! Unlike the NBA, there is no overtime. Also unlike the NBA, if more information and facts come to light, this result may change. The situation remains fluid.