Random death can occur to any person, at any time. Sure, the chances may be significantly less for someone sitting at a desk (like I am) versus someone commuting through rush hour traffic or someone sleeping with a fan turned on in their room (South Korea knows what’s up). But the chance is still there that one minute, I’m alive, and the next, I’m dead. DownToBuck’s Internetip (that’s Internet tip for you dumbos) of the day: don’t read about brain aneurysms if you ever want to get a restful night of sleep ever again.
The implication of that first paragraph is that I want to get these highlights of Jimmer Fredette (who is the king of meme players) up as soon as possible as insurance against my possible demise. If I am struck down by some cruel act of fate, I want to die as a person who brought to the world video evidence of Fredette scoring a legitimate amount of points (10) in a legitimate basketball league (the NBA). Now that this video is uploaded, I can rest easy (except for the whole brain aneurysm thing) knowing that Fredette’s Suns legacy is immortalized in my VHS-tape Archivium, and I can get back to work doing videos of actually good performances.
Fredette has not been very good in his return to the NBA. I don’t know if people were expecting much from him, but if they were, it was because they don’t realize how much of an insane gap there is between the quality of NBA play versus the quality of CBA play. Playing in China makes even marginal NBA talent (like Fredette and Russ Smith) look like absolute studmuffins. The NBA is a whole different beast, and it looks like Fredette still isn’t quite cut out for it. I, honestly and without sarcasm, think he can be a role-player still, if he can find his three-point shot (must have forgotten it in China; he’s 0-for-10 so far with the Suns). But why would he want that when he can average 50 somewhere else and not have to fight for minutes/ball?
It’s good to see him back, though. I thought we’d seen the last of him, but he is definitely here and definitely willing to shoot. The last vid I made for him was over 4 years ago, while he was with the Pelicans. I even wrote a great story for that one, where he was a junkie begging for spare change so he could get “fry sauce”. Then Luke Babbitt comes up to him and wonders why he doesn’t just mix ketchup and mayo together but Jimmer insists that that’s not the real thing and won’t cure the throes of withdrawal he is currently experiencing. The final paragraph is especially poignant:
“Stumbling over to a nearby bench, Jimmer unsteadily laid himself down, the withdrawal symptoms become more pronounced with every passing minute. “Somebody please help me…fry sauce…” he whimpered, but nobody came to his aid. At that moment, Jimmer felt ignored by the world, and even by his own god.”