Jonas Valanciunas Career High 33 Points/1 Game-Winning Missed Free Throw Full Highlights (3/20/2019)

It was easy, too easy, for Jonas Valanciunas to gain entry into the dim office building. A janitor had been outside taking his smoke break, and a quick five-thousand-dollar payment had gotten Jonas in through the building’s loading dock without difficulty. Now, Jonas prowled through the halls, the layout of which were familiar to him,…

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Mario Hezonja 17 Points/1 Block Full Highlights (3/17/2019)

LeBron James sat in the back of the team plane as it flew to wherever their next game was. He didn’t know their schedule anymore, nor did he care. It was all over. There would be no Finals. There would be no playoffs. Would he even play in the rest of the team’s games? That…

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Kelly Oubre 32 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2019)

“Yo Kelly, what’s up with all the iPhones pointed-” “CUT! CUT!” Kelly yelled in exasperation, interrupting his monologue to glare at Tyler Johnson, who had just walked into his impromptu video production studio that was set up in the bathroom of the visitor’s locker room. “You absolute idiot. Can you not see that I’m in…

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Kelly Oubre 22 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2019)

Kelly Oubre carefully placed the fourth of four iPhones on a tripod pointed at a spot in front of the locker-room mirror. The other three iPhones were also on tripods and varying distances from the apparent focus of the shot, a stool sitting in front of the mirror. “Hey Richaun, come over here and make…

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Buddy Hield 34 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/14/2019)

I’m so conflicted right now. So, on one hand, I’ve got computational hardware in my possession that is so unbelievably powerful that, if I used it to mine Bitcoin, I would never have to worry about money ever again in my life. Assuming that I would mine close to 100% of the Bitcoin remaining to…

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Taj Gibson 25 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)

Taj Gibson walked up to his locker and quickly noticed that it wasn’t set up quite how he expected it. His jersey was hanging in its place, and the customary bottle of Gatorade (orange flavor – his favorite) had been put in its spot on the shelf, but there was something unexpected there next to…

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Marvin Williams 30 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/8/2019)

“Um, Mr. Williams?” said one of the ballboys in a tentative voice. Marvin Williams smiled kindly at him as he got ready to change out of his street clothes into his game jersey. “What’s up?” The ballboy still seemed nervous; he looked down at the floor as he talked rather than directly at the person…

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Buddy Hield 28 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/4/2019)

A few days ago, I put Buddy (my 12-foot-tall 3D-printed naked purple plastic statue of Buddy Hield) to work making me a whole bunch of extremely high-end graphics cards for me to mine Bitcoin with, as well as a server-class motherboard to house all the cards. Well, that part of my plot to become a…

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Dwyane Wade 23 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/4/2019)

Dwyane Wade walked up to Vince Carter after the final buzzer sounded. “Great game, old man,” he said as they briefly hugged. Vince nodded. “Same.” Dwyane leaned in to whisper the next thing into Vince’s ear so that they wouldn’t be overheard by prying media members who were undoubtedly eager to hear what the two…

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Kelly Olynyk 25 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2019)

Kelly Olynyk slipped the red vinyl record out of its sleeve and reverently placed it on his new, never-used turntable. As he did this, many emotions flooded his mind: anticipation, nostalgia, even a little bit of fear. For the first time in many years, he was about to listen to the first and only recorded…

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