Michael Porter Jr. Career High 37 Points Full Highlights (8/3/2020)

Michael Porter Jr. rolled over groggily, slowly awakening from what must have been a very deep sleep. However, when his nose smashed against the unyieldingly hard surface below him, his return to full consciousness was hastened substantially. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at a floor made out of pure marble. Thinking that his…

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Derrick White 26 Points/5 Assists/5 Charges Taken Full Highlights (7/31/2020)

In the pitch blackness of his hotel room, Derrick White opened his eyes wide. But why? What had so swiftly and decisively roused him from his sleep? He searched his mind for memories of a possible nightmare, but no such recollection could be found. All he knew was that he had just been asleep, but…

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Zion Williamson 13 Points Full Highlights (7/30/2020)

I wake up to the sound of rain pounding on my window. How many days in a row has it been raining? It seems like forever. The clock next to my bed says 10:46 AM. I’ve overslept again, but can it really be called oversleeping when your excessive sleep isn’t causing you to miss anything…

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Richaun Holmes All 70 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)

Richaun Holmes, sitting at the too-small desk in his hotel room, looked at the containers of hotel-provided food with distaste. He had been expecting something like the high-end room service that he often ordered for himself on road trips: steaks, double-decker cheeseburgers, sushi made out of exotic sea life. What he was looking at was…

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C.J. McCollum All 139 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation)

I sit at my computer desk, hungrily perusing the menus of various restaurants on GrubHub but knowing that all of them are out of my price range. The life of an NBA highlight maker is not an extravagant one, and to splurge on something other than Hot Pockets for dinner is a rare indulgence. Still,…

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Nemanja Bjelica All 125 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Three-ilation)

“I don’t know if this is a very good idea, Bogdan,” said Nemanja Bjelica, speaking in his native Serbian. “Shhhh! Don’t talk so loud!” Bogdan Bogdanovic hissed angrily. “Sorry,” Nemanja replied in a whisper. “I forgot for a second that if we get caught out here breaking quarantine, they’ll probably deport us. Wait, no, I…

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LeBron James All 75 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)

There was a mysterious beeping coming from behind him and to his right. But it didn’t sound like his alarm clock. This beeping was much less melodious than the beeping that he woke up to every morning. LeBron opened his eyes to look. But when he saw his surroundings, all thoughts of his alarm dropped…

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Miles Bridges All 47 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)

Look at these numbers. Just look at them: Miles Bridges 2018-19: 71 dunks. Miles Bridges 2019-20: 47 dunks. Those numbers are totally unacceptable for a young player who is supposed to be showing rapid improvement. As the provider of the finest dunk compilations (“dunkilations”) anywhere to be found in the Internetubes, I demand more dunkage…

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Chris Paul All 203 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation Part II)

The room’s small space was illuminated by three torches which obscured no details of the horrific sight before them: two human corpses that had decayed past the point of identification. One was a slightly overweight man whose most distinctive feature was a very large black beard. The maggots which had consumed the flesh of his…

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Chris Paul All 203 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation Part I)

“Where did you say we were again?” Shai Gilgeous-Alexander asked. “Romania,” Chris Paul answered. He didn’t blame his young teammate for being unable to distinguish the landscape of one Eastern European country from that of another. Even the impressive castle that loomed in front of them was not distinctly “Romanian” in any way. It looked…

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