Thaddeus awoke to the smell of cooked beef in a bed that was not his own. Opening his eyes slowly, they were greeted by an indistinct haze. “Where…where am I?”
A beautiful nymph, clad in gossamer, emerged from the mist to his side. “Hello Thaddeus. Although you do not remember it, you have endured many trials to get to this place.”
This did not answer his question. “What is this place? And who are you?”
The nubile, radiant dryad laughed a soft, tinkling laugh. “This is Cheesesteakia. And I am Beefi, Lady of the Cheesesteak.” Beefi laughed again as Thaddeus’ eyes widened in shock.
“The fabled land of Cheesesteakia, a land which I believed was mere fantasy. Fantasy it is not, for I am here, and I am quite certain that this is no dream,” Thaddeus mused aloud. “When you say that I endured trials to come to this place, what trials do you mean? I remember nothing after I dropped 26 on the Magic.”
Beefi’s positive demeanor darkened. “Thaddeus, important matters called you here to this land. But evil forces wanted to exploit your unique sandwich-eating talents in their pursuit of beshadowed goals.”
“Who?”
“The giardiniera knights of Italianbeefland,” Beefi said sadly. Thaddeus gasped, and Beefi continued, “They cornered you after the game. The valiant cheese whiz battalion only just managed to wrest you from their grasp, but they incurred grievous losses while doing so.”
Thaddeus’ head reeled. The oft-imagined Sandwich Kingdoms were not mere imagination, but concrete reality, and they coveted his talents. But he knew not why. Beefi seemed to anticipate the query which formed upon his tongue, for she answered, “Thaddeus, as the prophecies have foretold, you are to be king of Cheesesteakia. And I will be your queen. Come, for the ceremony is soon to begin. Once the coronation has completed, we will formulate our plans of battle.”
Thaddeus smiled and added, “And of course, we will partake of a fine cheesesteak as well.”