Thaddeus Young 30 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/28/2013)

I gotta give props to the National Security Administration. Ever since they started keeping logs of everything every one of us does on the internet, my job has gotten a lot easier. I just asked them for logs on a certain Mr. Thaddeus Young, and they gave them to me no questions asked. This is easy!

Thanks to these logs, I have stumbled across a potential money-making opportunity. Take a look at these Google search queries:

“girls eating cheesesteaks”
“naked girls eating cheesesteaks”
“girl eating cheesesteak with no clothes”
“eating cheesesteak closeup for a long time”
“real video of cheesesteak girl”
“cheesesteak and girl together on bed with no cloths”
“greasy cheesesteak recipe”

We know there is at least one person in the world who is into the whole cheesesteak fetish, that being our friend Thaddeus. But no fetish has just a single practitioner. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, or, better put, where there’s one guy who gets sexually excited over girls eating Philly cheesesteaks, there’s other guys who get sexually excited over same. Somebody has to make a website for these sick freaks.

It should be easy to find models who are willing to eat cheesesteaks on camera. I would do it for free as long as I could keep my clothes on. Actually, I would pay money out of my pocket for a chance to do something like that. So, finding models is the easy part. Designing the website wouldn’t be hard either. Video editing is fairly straightforward – I do it all the time. Just zoom in on the cheese dripping off the end of the sandwich. The outlay for a business like this would probably be less than a thousand bucks, and the income…well, let’s just say, I wouldn’t have to make highlights anymore.

You guys better not steal my idea. I would patent it but the guys at the patent office told me that you can’t patent ideas like this.

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