Our Korver, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy shooting. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Philips Arena. Give us this day our daily three, and forgive us our bricks, as we forgive those who brick against us. And lead us not inside the arc, but deliver us…
Read MoreMonth: December 2013
Serge Ibaka 17 Points Full Highlights (12/17/2013)
Let’s play “guess who made the stupid tweet”! On today’s episode, you must figure out which NBA player tweeted the following inanity: “Somebody tell serg Abaka. He aint bout dis life. Next time he run up on me im goin in his mouth. That’s a promise. He doin 2 much.” Why would you ever make…
Read MoreNick Calathes 10 Points Full Highlights (12/17/2013)
This video is the reason this channel exists. So fans of Nick Calathes can witness Nick Calathes score points in an NBA game without actually having to slog through watching the putrid product the Grizzlies put on the floor. I don’t take donations, but if I did, I’d probably want about a buck from every…
Read MorePau Gasol 21 Points Full Highlights (12/17/2013)
Remember last year when D’Antoni’s offensive scheme often called for Pau Gasol to stand the corner and shoot threes? That doesn’t happen anymore, thankfully, but Gasol is still unhappy with the way he’s being utilized. My professional opinion is that he’s taking too many jumpers. He can make them, but it’s not his most useful…
Read MoreJordan Hill 21 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2013)
Eight of eight from the field. A perfect field-goal shooting night. A truly miraculous occurrence. What constraint, what modesty, to not take shots that cannot be reasonably made. I cannot overemphasize the import of such a feat on the game of basketball. We have reached a new peak, a higher state, where field goals need…
Read MoreLuis Scola 18 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2013)
Logging into his new, anonymous Wikipedia account, Luis glanced over his shoulders furtively. The librarians would certainly disapprove of his using the public computers for political purposes. But there were wrongs that needed to be righted, and Luis would be the one to right them. He navigated to Wikipedia’s entry on the Falkland Islands. The…
Read MoreNick Young 23 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/16/2013)
When Kobe Bryant got injured, I’m guessing the first thing on the Lakers’ front office’s collective hivemind was “How do we replace the ill-advised fadeaway jumpers that are a crucial part of our offense? Our numero uno goal this offseason is finding a way to mitigate the loss of Kobe.” So they went out and…
Read MoreMartell Webster 30 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/16/2013)
Type “Martell Webster” into the YouTube search box and the first thing it suggests for you is “Martell Webster dunk instead of 3”. This is a travesty. Yeah, it was a stupid play, but the past is the past. W-Mart is a totally different player now. One could even posit that he has fulfilled the…
Read MoreChanning Frye 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/15/2013)
Channing “Frye Sauce” Frye sat out all of last season with an screwed-up heart. The doctors claimed it was a genetic abnormality, present since birth, but I know better. ————————————– Channing was pacing. He always paced his room when he was nervous. The phone was sitting on his bed, just waiting to be picked up…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 17 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2013)
Austin Rivers is one of many cautionary tales about the overhyping of high-school baskteball players. We were treated to mixtape after carefully constructed mixtape showcasing young Mr. Rivers’ sick crossovers, his powerful dunks, and a sweet-looking jumper. He was supposed to be the next big thing. A surefire prospect. Some of his luster wore off…
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