The spaceship coasted silently in a particularly empty region of the Virgo cluster, fresh off an excursion to Thaul-Ratos.
“Those Ratosians sure don’t appreciate our efforts”, Porgon 18-F remarked as she tended the ionization wounds to her 4th and 5th ancillary appendages.
Pilot Kronbub 32-C expressed his unconcern with a dismissal flap of his cranial membrane. “There were just a little startled by our appearance. Can’t expect anything else from a planet that hasn’t even unlocked the secrets of wormhole-travel. And how would they like it if they knew that we’ve been helping them increase their vertical leap artificially? Obviously they can’t Plob the cube without help in that little game of theirs, there’s no way to jump the 100 meters necessary, even on their low-G planet.”
There was a commotion on the control deck. “You guys gotta come check this out on the holo-projector!” It was the voice of deckhand and holoperator Urgorx 77-Q. Porgon 18-F sent a message of a disapproval through the walls of the ship as she stepped out of the medical bay. “If it’s 2 Wurdons 1 Ek again you will taste the wrath of my radiation pistol.”
Soon the entire crew was gathered around the projector. Urgorx 77-Q’s membranes were quivering with delight. “I just got this transmission in from Earth.” He turned on the machine, and immediately they were presented with a glorious sight.
“Outlet to Jordan, he goes to the hole… SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAM DUNK!”
“Is that… DeAndre Jordan? Looks like we did give him too much of the dunking solution after all. Zeeborg, you idiot, you were only supposed to use half the vial!” Kronbub 32-C sent an infrared middle finger to Zeeborg 56-A.
Zeeborg 56-A was unapologetic.”It’s not my fault that Porgon woke him up and made him cry as we administered the treatment. It was important to get out as soon as possible and not jeopardize the integrity of the mission. As commander, you should know… wait a minute… play it back again.”
The assembled aliens watched the destructive posterization again. Suddenly, Urgorx 77-Q blurted “It’s Glen Davis!”
“What a shame, he didn’t turn out as well as one might have hoped” said Kronbub 32-C. “Look at how fat he is. And I bet if he can dunk at all, it’s a very weak, very powerless version of the act.”
Urgorx flexed his membranes in a show of happiness. “Still, it’s good to see one of our projects do so well. And look at the crowd, they are displaying the humanoid signs of happiness and enjoyment! They have no idea the doom that the interstellar council has assigned for them!”
A chilling chorus of laughter resounded on the main deck.